INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He so unnormal, he so damn crazy, Why he not falling in love, why he not making babies? Getting married to a girl whom he can call his baby? Martin and Gina love boy you so crazy. Like why I can't settle down like I'm supposed to, Find someone to share my life and get closed to But suppose you knew the odds before you got involved, Like half of every marriage is going to be dissolved. So in your mind you just playing the percentages, Living your life free and going wherever the adventure is, But you need somebody you can love and to share it with, But a lovely moment shared with a stranger I strangely cherish it. I'm not saying I'm over love but maybe over the normal, Of the worldly expectations society demands I conform to, Unnormal, and yet still so damn formal, I might fall in love but to be fair I warned you.

He loved the way she slept. “How is that even possible”, he would ask himself? But it was…and he did. He loved everything about the time they spent together, the way his hand fit in hers, the way she laughed when he was being silly, and how she knew his response to something before it even happened. Familiarity can often be a buzz kill, but with her, it was a turn on. It was sexy to them the comfortableness of the space they shared, the coziness of their stare. He loved how when they went to the movies, after each trailer they would look at each other and shake their head yes or no, always on the same page. It was their thing, and although minuscule , he hoped she shared that with no one else. As they lay in bed she turns to her side and lets out a pout, arching her back. A tell-tale sign that she wanted a back rub. Which of course she knew she would get, as he always obliged. Lying there, rubbing her back, kissing her shoulder, deep in the midst of pure intimacy, the picture perfect ...

Educated young brother he was always thirsty for knowledge, On a quest for the American dream so he went on to college, He earned himself a degree and then went on to get his Master's He had skills in his craft and went on to learn from a master, Rooted in a strong foundation from the day that he was born, It's no wonder he found his passion in his architectural drawing, But just like construction, even when you have instructions Life can take a turn and have you ready for eruption. So he said to me "I know I'm never perfect but still I pursuit it" A man dedicated to his principles and I knew it, on some school sh*t,  We been best friends since we rocked shoulder pads, And now here we stand as much older lads. Both talking about old teammates and how their all Dads Wondering when our time will come and does that make us bad, And I'm mad, because he's too good to be alone. But for his own reason he not ready to make his house...

I feel like, these girls are A.M. and I'm F.M. We not on the same frequency baby what's that you playing? Tell me what is your station, tell me girl what you saying? I'd fly a spaceship and orbit the moon to find your wavelength. I mean is it hip hop, r&b, or Jazz? Cause I would dance country to pony up on your ass.  I mean damn, cause all I get is static? WZUP with your heart, girl can I have it?  I will preset your vibe to my ride so that when you start me up, I know you come on automatic.  About 102 Jams I would like to play for you, 93.5 times that I would go back in the day with you, Or is it more that I should K-ROQ with you? Stairway to heaven is to get all on top of you. Come and spend the night we can hear the quiet storm, Sitting by the fire with the music to keep us warm. I been calling all day to get through to your line, Trying to win these tickets to your love, make you mine. Jodeci on my mind, All I can think of is you freaking me. ...

"I meant to love you" he said, as he stared in her eyes. It was his moment of truth to see through all of the lies, A beautiful lie, for him to lie next to someone so beautiful These illusions that we've created in our mind look what they do to you. We knew it couldn't work but yet we spent the time to work it, We knew we'd never perfect it but yet we hoped it could be perfect. Was it worth it? Yes indeed, every minute we spend. Who's to say it's not real even though we playing pretend? But even when you pretending you still know that there's an ending, Your heart wasn't available for purchase, so I was only renting. And times up, the door to your heart has a notice of eviction. And it's not really a surprise because I created this prediction. I'm no good for you, and I can see now that you know that. I'm no good for me either, but there's no way I can go back. A cursed soul with a haunted heart is never easy to love...

More than 15 years have past and we both went on living our lives, Yet she's still one of my favorite past times, and she remains on the list top five. She's the type of girl you meet when you're too young, and there's still a lot of living to do And there's still so much to learn & you're too dumb. so you move on not realizing what you'd lose. I would try to be faithful, but I could never say no to her, So every time I would return home, I'd go running straight back to her. I would tell her you got me, baby you got me, baby you caught me, She would shake her head and disagree, cause when you leave you will have forgot me. And she was right of course, cause as soon as I'd leave I head right off course. And find myself with my new girl, the one my family loved the most. The one you go to meet Mom with, the one you go to the Prom with, The first girl you ever tell you love, the first girl you ever make love with. That kind of love sti...

She said that she loved him,  But she wasn't in love with him anymore. There's a difference between the two feelings, One that she could no longer ignore. She said she had to move on, She had dreams she needed to go chase, He was just trying to hold on, As the tears flowed down his face. "Did I do something wrong", he asked? "Was my love not all that you needed"? "Maybe she found someone else", he thought? Could that have been the reason? Nonetheless she packed her bags and left, Months went by without one word. Until one day he received a post card, His heart stopped, he knew it was her. It said how much she missed him, And how she wished that they could talk, She understands why he took his position, When she packed her bags and walked. But she was hoping when she got back, They could at least spend a little time. He could already feel his heart crack, But he wanted to appear as if he was fine. So they decided to have ...

Damn it feels good to be in love again, Loving when, we get to kissing, and touching, and making love again. Come on in and close the door let me help you take your coat off, I know my baby been working all day go ahead and take a load off. You so soft, rubbing your shoulders while dinner cooks, Give you time to relax, read some pages from your book. She's nerdy and I like that, thick glasses and thick asses. Yoga pants and baby tee I squeeze it right as she passes. She laughs it’s, not disrespect because she likes it, She put on them tight ass pants because she knows her man will like it. Excited, glad to have her home for the weekend, Give her whatever she wants, good food, and conversation. And don't forget the sensation, the sexual stimulation, Like I'm the only brother with oil, she has to fill up at my station. But I gotta practice patience, because she loves it when I chase, Romance requires some flirtation blowing kisses to her face...

I remember, I remember love, yeah how could I forget? I remember every memory of passion and pain, Sit back and reminisce. I remember you came to town in the fall, At at a time when my heart was coldest. And you warmed it up right from the start, Had me feeling like baby you can hold this... And I knew that you noticed, And I knew that you know this, Took me back to my high school days, Like girl who do yo go with? Cause you somebody I can grow with, You somebody I can show it, Show you the real me, Cause I know you can feel me, Fell in love so quickly, and Yeah we both guilty. The love too appealing, Alone with a broken heart, Hoping you can heal me, Take your time keep it real please. If this is real please, don't let it fall apart. I just hope we know what we're doing. Can't stop once we start. Remember how used it to feel... You laying in the bed and your head on my chest Remember how it used to feel. Getting chills from the wet of you kis...

Who you with? Who you been given your precious love? I hope you not with him just to pass the time like just because... Because I miss you but you know that I can't say it right...? And you just as stubborn so I know you gonna put up a fight. But I'm on your page looking at your pictures liking every post, And I know you see me watching you but you already made yo choice.. So I had no choice, had to step away and try to respect your space, But don't think for a second that I've forgotten about the beauty of your face, Because I wish that I could see you, and I wish that I could call, But my pride won't let me do it, no I'll never take that fall. Either you gonna reach out to me, or we just never gonna speak at all. I know you'll be good through the summer, but like temperatures you bound to fall. So, who you with? Who been given your precious time? I know he loves your body, but does he even appreciate your mind? Or recognize your grind, doe...

He wanted to fall in love so damn fast, He was willing to make the wrong choices. He wanted to fall in love so damn bad, He was ignoring all of the voices. All of the voices in his head, Telling him that he should slow down, But everybody else so far ahead, He didn't wanna be the one left out. See he had a plan for his life, Yeah he had everything worked out. But life don't really care about plans, So naturally things ain't work out. Now he's on the edge of Thirty, Every girl he meets could be the one. So he rushes to fall in love early, Dating is painful it's no longer fun. Cause he was supposed to get married by thirty, First child by the age of thirty - two, A house with a sensible mortgage they could carry, Now she pregnant with child number two. Two car garage and his and her sinks, House in the suburbs where everybody speaks. Family vacations and trips to beach, Hanging Christmas lights on the family tree. He wrote down everything ...

It's been five years since I have been in a relationship. Five years since I could even relate to sh*t. Five years since I heard I love you,  Or baby you the best, or there's nobody but you.  It's been five years since that break up, Five long years since we walked away, And I aint mean to take this long to love, But life just always gets in the way.  Year one, I only wanted fun, You know hit and run, get it in and I'm done. Then I'm back in the clubs looking for another one, When she asks my name, I just say I'm the one. Phone full of numbers, pocket full of rubbers, I guess you could say I didn't really care, I just knew I was hurt, so I would go out and flirt, To replace the thought of her not being here. Then year two came and not much changed, I was still living fast in these streets, Thinking time would change her mind, And we'd fall back in love when we meet. But that meeting never happened, Cause baby ...

Friend request gets sent, Notification that you've been accepted, Now you have expectations, You're fantasies get projected. I say hello, you say hello, Do you know who I am? She says that she knows. So now you just flow, Conversation it flows, You start out a secret, A friend that nobody knows, But the situation grows, Cause feelings got sowed. Now each word can be a weapon, Be careful it might explode.  Cause life changes right by the second And now you feel some type of way, And emotions are running over, Cause you ain't get to speak that day, And they not inviting you over. And saying things like I miss you, Can easily become an issue, We're firing off the emotions, We use them just like a missile. And relationships can be a war, But we supposed to be fighting together. But we across the enemy lines, Guns pointed right at each other. Like damn, didn't we used to be something? I swear we used to be s...

Hello again, I know I said I wasn’t coming back. But again you have found your way in here, somehow you have gotten near, and even though I don’t have any fear, I still want you to disappear. Hello, here we are again, those same old feelings, knees getting weak, tongue tied to speak, dog in heat, damn you taste so sweet and look good enough to eat. But like some foods, you taste good going in, but oh so horrible coming out. You know what I’m talking about. Hello old friend, how the hell did you get in? I thought I tossed you out on your ass, because what you offer never seemed to last, and all I’m left with is good memories of a bad past. Who told you to walk back in, who told you to bring me a new friend, I told you to keep it moving. Hello my dear, back again to whisper sweet nothing’s in my ear. Hold me close through the nights, got me through all those bitter fights. My sweet dear lover, you do me like no other. Pain is love, and love is pain, no wonder why I love f...

Sitting in the bar one night having a conversation with a pretty girl, Heard a question that was all too familiar, she asked, So how come you’re still single, as she looked me dead in my eyes, Like she was suspecting lies, but to her very surprise, I was drunk enough to tell the truth... Are you player, her follow up question? Rightfully asked as my charm would make that suggestion, But honestly I say, I'm not unlike any other story you've heard before Much like any man that's been hurt before I've developed a system that will help me avoid the pain Never fall for a woman I could actually obtain So I keep the good ones far at a distance, I'm talking this is LA and that is New York That way things have a reason for falling apart Gives me an excuse for never sharing my heart So most of the girls I spend time with in Cali, Are about as deep as the rain fall. That is to say they are shallow. She smiled, laughed a bit, she knew it ...