INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He sat on the train questioning what he was doing, as if he really didn't know. He was making that all too familiar mistake again, his favorite mistake. He was on his way to see her. It had been some time since he’d last seen her, and the last encounter had not gone the way he had hoped. The irony of the Drake lyrics being hummed in his ear, "redemption's on your mind when you think about me", were all too haunting. True she was his favorite mistake, but perhaps, just perhaps, he was hers. A mistake they both would continually make until they got it right or finally gave up. He got off the train to the breezy chill of a spring afternoon by the beach. The air was filled with the voices of friends and family and lovers walking around. People smiling and laughing as if this one day, everyone got to be happy and perhaps he would too. He made his way through the crowds of people growing more nervous with every step closer towards their meeting point. "Be cool", ...

We both too old to be playing games, Like being in the club giving fake names, With the fake lames, and the boogie dames. Can we stop playing? I mean I'm just saying. Are you feeling me, cause I'm feeling you? And I already know your feelings true. But you playing games, you acting up Stop playing like you don't give a f*ck. Like I'm not the one to pick your spirits up, Even the furthest away I'm the nearest one. Tell me if I'm the dearest one, That you think about, when nobodies up. I'll pick your body up, and put your body down, This is serious girl, don't play around. This is Boyz to Men, this is Jodeci, This is Dru Hill, this is H - Town So don't let the water run dry, Under these April showers, Come and talk to me, We could talk for hours. About real love, Let's talk about real love, I mean it could be real love, If you ready to deal love. Cause you know how I feel love, But you know I can't steal love. You g...

Sitting all alone on the phone conversation with Momma, Told her how I feel about chasing my dreams, You see the closer that you get to touching the sun, The other stars to reach are further than they seem, What do you mean my son? The concerned look on her face I said I'm only getting older take a look at my space. I realized all this on my last trip home, You see I've only had a place I never had me a home, And everybody moving on, my brother got his own, Kids calling him daddy, boys getting grown. Proud to watch him live and be a family man, As I young boy I dreamed about making family plans, Vacation to Disney World and hold my families hand, Morning bus chronicles and overpriced mini-vans. But there ain't no love in the heart of city, Hollywood is full of glamour but the road ain't pretty, But no pity, after all, I'm in love with the grind. Alone in my apartment with my heart and my mind, I made goals for myself, and I ...

I got this girl pregnant once...yeah hell of a way to start a blog I know, but sh*t I'm just thinking out loud here. I was young, like a sophomore in college at home for spring break. The fact that I got a girl pregnant isn't what's important and or spectacular about this story. What is, is that she never told me. Not until about five years later when we happened to get together and hang out. No she didn't take me on Maury or anything, she didn't pop up at my door step with some child I had never seen before and tell me I was a father. Instead she told me that she didn't keep it. First reaction was how do I know if she's lying?...but I thought about that night....she wasn't. Besides, who makes up that kind of lie? Second reaction was why? She stated how I was in college and she didn't want to ruin my life. How she knew it was just a fling and even though we were serious in high school, she knew we had a lot of life to live and growing up to do. ...

It's been five years since I have been in a relationship. Five years since I could even relate to sh*t. Five years since I heard I love you,  Or baby you the best, or there's nobody but you.  It's been five years since that break up, Five long years since we walked away, And I aint mean to take this long to love, But life just always gets in the way.  Year one, I only wanted fun, You know hit and run, get it in and I'm done. Then I'm back in the clubs looking for another one, When she asks my name, I just say I'm the one. Phone full of numbers, pocket full of rubbers, I guess you could say I didn't really care, I just knew I was hurt, so I would go out and flirt, To replace the thought of her not being here. Then year two came and not much changed, I was still living fast in these streets, Thinking time would change her mind, And we'd fall back in love when we meet. But that meeting never happened, Cause baby ...

She was afraid that type of love would never find her, And her ex loves all served as a bad reminder. Of how she wished she had been just a little kinder, So she entered her next relationship with blinders, Fell in love with a stranger that she thought she knew. Took a walk down let's get married avenue. The fear of never finding love again can scare us, To the point where it gets hard to look in mirrors. Staring at the lonliness you see in your reflection, Wishing you could go back in time and change direction. If not him then who else gonna up and love me? She running out of options at least this is something, And we all know something is better than nothing. Except she never got to read From Something to Nothing, So she ignores all the signs and his many flaws, And she says I do even though when asked she paused. Walking down the aisle to the sound of the crowds applause, But they don't know she walking off to a hopeless cause, Cause now she carrying his...

I almost fell in love,  yeah I almost made her mine We got so close, to being the most, but I almost every time. Almost said I love you, almost made it work. And I get so close to almost, then I always make you hurt Like I almost could be a good man, I almost could be true. But you over there, and I 'm over here, and almost just won't due. I almost made it big, yeah I almost reached the top But almost ain't doing the most, like you almost hit her spot. And we almost get it right, yeah we almost went all the way 23 hours of good love, and the last hour I throw it away. And we almost were a couple, yeah we almost were together But when you almost in love, then almost means never. We almost made up, and I almost apologized. I wrote you a love letter, then tore it up, and cried. I was almost man enough, only almost, but I tried. Maybe next time I wont be almost, and swallow all my pride. You can call me Mr. Almost, I'm Mr. In Between I'm not the o...

One of my new found loves' is being able to travel to places I've never been. The problem with that is that you fall in love with the places you go to, each in their own individual way. Beyond that, is the chance you fall for the people you meet as well. With the help of social media, it's far too easy to meet people all around the world, thus the dilemma. In this modern day and age, one can only observe life and come to a simple conclusion.......Love Travels. LAX: Hot summers, and cool winters The patio is fine with mine we out for dinner The city of angels, with all the sinners All the chicks is models they frames a little slimmer, Please bring your frames the sun is steady shining Please bring your gun my city forever grinding We riding, going to see my favorite girl Venice She's a little bit hipster, and a little bit of  a menace But I love her though, and you should see her smile when the sun sets She pass me a beer and say "are yo...