INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

"Are we going to the party", she asked, knowing damn well she didn't want to go? "I don't know, do you want to go", he replied, knowing damn well he didn't want to go, and neither did she? She arched her butt into his pelvis and they spooned even closer. He squeezed his arms around her even tighter. The two lay nude under the covers as the sun set on a warm summer day. They both smelled like the waves of the beach they had spent the earlier part of the day relaxing and drinking at, enjoying silence. He kissed on her neck gently and could sense her slight smile on the other side. "We could go", he said. "Yeah, we could go", she also noted. But neither moved. It was as if there was a welcomed overwhelming force of gravity holding them down in that bed. He moved his hand and cupped her breast as she entangled her feet in his over and over again. Neither of them had even opened their eyes, as if there nothing to see. Their imaginations we...

He loved her. That alone was the problem, and the solution. It was his greatest strength, and his most vulnerable weakness. The selfishness of his love was terrorizing him... holding him hostage and greedily unwilling to let him go. Her love reminded him of the ocean, at times clear and pure and easy to see, and then dark and murky, full of danger and unknowns. Like waves crashing into the shore as he stood on the wet sands. Sometimes the water would gently come up to his feet, and other times the waves would rush in almost knocking him over. He stood on the edge of the water always cautious and yet always care free. No matter the temperature he would surely run right in given the chance. He hated who he was with her, but he loathed who he was without her. The lonely sailor lost at sea. Surrounded by the endless depths it became hard to tell where the ocean stopped and the sky began. And this is how he felt with her, as if up were down and down were up. Certainly he would love to find ...

He posted in the group, "Are there any good black women left"? And they answered " hell yes, but all you niggas is deaf". It's like we screaming to be heard, but y'all don't ever listen.. No all y'all want is Jordan, you never checking for Pippen. Yeah maybe he not a star, but he be playing his role. He not selling a million shoes, but yet he's rich in his soul. You too caught up in Power, you fall in love with a Ghost, So when he disappear on you, so do your dreams and your hopes, And be like, y'all brothers ain't shit, ya' so quick, To slide up in every girl that be sweating your dick. With your Tinders, and Happn, all you do is swipe, Good girls get left, when them hoes get you right. And you right, them hoes is everywhere, they always there, But we talking about the good ones who act like they don't care. I mean we out here but when we text we can't get a reply, You too busy in the DM's of some terrib...

The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting colder, telling myself it's over... Summer time is over, and only having her some of the time, I need that to be over, I think I should be closer, she wants me to move closer, so maybe I can come over, I just want time to hold her, lay her head on my shoulder, let her know what it's like to fall in love with a soldier. I'm a confident man, I know who I am, but her eyes always make me weak, Should I change who I am, just to hold her hand, or do I just go on being me? What do you mean? I mean what do you mean? You mean continue being mean? Savage lifestyle in these streets being catered by women that you know you don't even need? I mean that's what they expect you to be, expectations you can't seem to exceed, Because you pretend that you don't wanna stop, but there's so much more that you really need. They say fake it until you make it, well we can't afford to fake it, and I don't...

It was a hot summer day in Miami, I can remember the day so clearly. Those Haitian cats were hating on me, Cause I was bagging everything that came near me. That's when I saw you walking out the water, You were heading right in my direction, So I said the first thing that I thought of, My God baby girl you perfection. You smiled at me and you laughed, A smile even now I'll never forget.  I said let's go for another swim, Don't dry off baby girl stay wet. She told her home girl she'd be back, As we walked away in the sand. As soon as our feet touched the water, We both reached for each other's hand. The alcohol got us intoxicated, The weather got us falling in love, The motion of the waves got us grinding, Everything in South Beach is such a drug. And you, you were all on my brain, I mean you were all in veins, All I could think of was you, And it would drive me insane. But eventually the vacation ended, And so we said our goodbye's...

Dear Friend, I was so tired by the end of our trip I feel I fell short in giving you my thoughts on the things you said. Life, is this troubling thing...it's this broken dream from our childhood...and being an adult...is all about rebuilding that dream with the pieces that are left. I wasn't shocked to hear about your struggles, after all, I know you better than most. The city is a magical place, but when you are surrounded by buildings that reach the sky, one can feel infinitely small and alone. It's only natural that depression can take hold of you. We both live in one of the largest cities in America and yet day after day we walk these streets alone, we pass by thousands of people each day, who we don't know, we don't speak... Both just out there chasing a dream, in love with an idea of who we want to be, and trying to become that. I know how much your Mom passing has changed you; no way such a loss could not. But I wanted to share my favorite memory of he...

She likes to go to the beach, she likes to feel the breeze, She likes to sit in the sand, she likes to watch the trees, She likes to sip her drink, she likes to hear the waves, She likes to feel the sun, she likes to let the sun bathe, She likes when I open her door, she likes to ride in the whip, She likes the air in her hair, she likes the leather's grip, She likes the cruise the streets, she likes to see the city, She likes me to hold her hand, she likes just feeling pretty, She likes to shop all day, she likes designer jeans, She likes to try them on, she likes to show em' off to me She likes it when we go out, she likes to wine and dine, She likes it when we touching, she likes it every time... She likes it, I love it, She likes it, I love it, She likes it, I love it, She likes it, I love it, She likes it, I love it, She likes it, I love it, She's my sexy little lady, ain't gon' put no one above her She likes to cook a meal, she likes ...

I woke up that morning with a smile on my face. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, and she was there. I had almost believed it to be a dream, the night before. I slept with little patience wanting the first light of day to come, and render true the evenings passion. She lay there, sunlight glowing on her skin, the most beautiful woman I had ever met. Hair tossed across her face, eyes closed, lips puckered, and just a touch of her shoulder showing. I had that feeling, that warm tingly, butterflies in the stomach feeling, that this was real. She draped her thigh across my legs and my body shivered. Is there any greater moment of sensuality than a warmth of a women's naked thigh wrapping around you? I pulled her close to me so that her head could lay on my chest. It was so seamless that she didn't even open her eyes, she just continued to rest. I breathed her in, the smell of cocoa butter filled my nostrils and brought pleasure to my senses as I kissed her forehead. I begged for t...

Sitting in the hotel bar drinking Jameson, Wondering to myself, damn, what's her name again? Similar situation, the one that I am always in. And we talk about the separate worlds that we're both living in, She says "she's never gonna settle down, no not again, The situations changed these men are no longer gentlemen, They not opening doors, and no longer pull out your seat. They not taking care of the home, But yet they expect to eat". I say "your experiences seem to be so individual, You can't blame the world because of one individual". "But if that one person is your world and they blow it up, Everybody gets hit in the crossfires cause love is physical". That information she provided was truly pivotal, I understood her so much better those words were critical. I told her "I been hurt before, better yet I've been crushed, When love hits you that hard who do you fucking trust? Or do you shut down the emotion and...

He had entered into the rightful age of 31 with wide eyes and big hopes, the same as all the other years. Although, much like those years before, he was becoming more cynical about the possibilities of love. It wasn't just the fact that it had alluded him for some time now, but more so the fact that he had just the same alluded love.  As if they reached an agreement, each armed with their own top divorce lawyer of sorts. Love would leave and take all of its empty promises with it, and he would walk away and take everything that he brought with him. His new focus would be his career. Cliche to say the least as many 30 somethings clinged to the one thing that they felt they could control. "This is simply what life is for me", he convinced himself. Some find love, some walk alone. He reminded himself that some men are not meant to be happy, they are meant to be great. Something he heard on a television show that he tried to assimilate into his own life. So he dive...

Standing there, the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen, and She walks right in, looking like a beauty queen..and I Am wondering, what your name is and who you are? Before I could ask, I see him standing from afar… My friends they tell me that that guy is your boyfriend. And so my daydreams they come crashing to an end, We say hello, and I even shake your hand We talk casually, and we even share a dance, but Then he comes over and tells you it’s time to leave And I feel your pain as your arm he squeezed And I can feel my chest as it gets harder to breath, Trying to figure out, how quickly she became a part of me And now I’m left standing wondering why, What should I do, should I even try? Should I let the chance for romance pass me by? I wanna grab your hand and look you in eye but.... She’s someone else’s girl, so she can’t be with me, She’s someone else’s girl, so all I can do is dream, She’s someone else’s girl, so it’s not me...

I fell in love in a dream, I fell in love with a dream, It was the ideal moment, it was the picture perfect scene. Reality was too harsh, the real of it unfair, So I drifted off into a dream, knowing that she'd be there. When I close my eyes is when I wake up, She lies there with no make-up, Pretending like she's asleep, But really wanting for me to wake up. I stare at her for what feels like hours, We're stuck in the bed, Listening happily to the sound of rain showers. As soft as the kisses I place on her head. It's an early autumn day, in our big loft in the city, With the floor to ceiling windows, the fall can be so pretty. And we're wrapped up in our covers, our Egyptian cotton sheets, And the smell of her hair, is just so wonderfully sweet. And we lay and talk for hours, about our trips around the globe, London and Paris, and our most recent trip to Rome, And of all the beautiful places, none of them was like home, Home is where your smi...

I wish that I never met her, I wish I'd never seen her smile. I wish that I'd never texted her, I wish I never had dialed. I wish that we never linked up, On that sunny afternoon, I wish you never wore that dress, On that summer day in June. I wish I never held your hand, As we walked through central park, And I wish we never went to dance, And we stayed out after dark, I wish we never, girl I wish we never, Cause if it didn't happen, my heart would feel so better. And I wish we never spent the day, Out at the county fair. And I wish I could forget your eyes, The way you wore your hair... I wish it never happened, The first night that we made love, You were standing in my bedroom, Lingerie and pumps, I wish I could take back, Every lovely kiss I placed, I wish I could un-see, The passion on your face, The movement of your waist, The freaky things you say, The ooooh's the ahhhh's We rocked the night away. I wish we never, girl I wish ...

Sitting in the guidance counselor's office a younger Dave sat, She asking me in ten years, "where do you see yourself at"? A good question indeed, before I proceed, Let's consider where I'm at now to understand what I could be. A young man in college, on his quest for the knowledge, Ride wasn't fly but he kept his wheels polished. Two bedroom apartment tucked away in the projects, Just met a girl body shaped like a Goddess, And to be honest, he was a bit tired of the parade, Girls marching in and out at any time of the day. Plus on top of that he had just found his passion, Mr. Director, they waiting on you to call out action. Fell in love with the stage, the words on the page, The lights shined bright, so we rehearsed it for days. When the show came out every body was amazed, And it felt so amazing to receive all the praise. California in his future, his name in the lights, Wifey standing by his side, she always do him right. First chil...

I can see the future, and I know that I can't win I saw it the moment we started, even though I can't see the end But I won't ever pretend, like this is something that's gon' work No this is something that's gon' hurt,  And I'm okay with pain, cause the pleasure validates the worth What I'm saying is your worth it, your smile is damn near perfect, Your love's the sweetest soil, and I'm trying to unearth it But this is mission impossible, loving you is impossible But I'll just keep on trying, knowing it's not possible Everything is stop and go, I should probably stop and go You want me then you stop and go, I'm holding on and letting go How wonderfully terrible, girl come on let's play some more Smile at me the way you do, you know I can't say no to you I wanna give you more and more and more until I smother you Wish I could find another you,  No singer on earth, could ever quite cover you ...

SPRING: Purple leaves on twisting trees line the quiet streets, The dewy air of the country side puts my mind at ease She's right here, by my side, it's early and still she sleeps, The sound of the road mimics my heart the pavement steadily beats Orange skies and yellow birds bring my love awake A lovers smile is a thousand words no artist could ever paint. SUMMER: Summer sunsets blaze the sky and burns it radiant glow, As cooler breezes move through the night, at sight of moon’s first show Palm trees dancing in the wind, the water reflects the sky As stars dance in the endless pool, bidding the sun goodnight. The clouds look soft as pillows on which the angels sleep. The sand shall be our bed tonight our clothes to make our sheets. FALL: The stars are out tonight, as I gaze up towards the sky, And I wonder if you are out there, staring into the night... I wonder if I'm on your mind, though I doubt that I...