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Showing posts from 2012

5 Ways To Pick-up Your Bank Teller When You’re Broke

You’re in line at your local bank, and there she is as always, the beautiful bank teller. She’s always polite, smiles, makes great small talk, and you can’t decide whether she is being nice to you or just doing her job. You want to speak to her about something other than your banking needs, but it’s tough to be smooth in a bank. Security guards are watching, there are cameras pointed at you everywhere, an angry line is right behind you waiting for their turn, and that’s not the worse part. This girl is looking right at your account, and you have  $22.19  to your name. How are you supposed to even ask a girl out when she can clearly see you don’t have any money to take her out?  Don’t worry guys; The Brolog is here to guide you into these difficult waters. Don’t hide:  She can see your balance; she can see where you have been spending your money. You took out $200 at the Wicked Kitty strip club last weekend, it’s right there on the screen.  Find a way to make light of your financial

LOVE EXPENSES

What a beautiful feeling when love songs start to make sense, And you feel like every word is just common sense But then that heartache reveals your incompetence And you realize that common sense aint been common since If love don’t cost a thing then why does it always leave you broke Standing in the courtroom arguing over who gets the most Good times they turn into bad memories, Staring at old photo’s and asking, “do you remember me”? Please pardon all these skeleton’s in my closet, Still love don’t cost thing, but she gonna need a deposit. That’s why she posting pretty pictures all over her facebook To replace the man who used to tell her just how pretty her face look. My ex girl told me she loved me and made a bad decision And everyday she thinks about the love that she know she missing. And I used to hope that one day she would feel that pain, Thinking that knowledge would help me to be whole again, But honestly her honesty had the opposite

Ain't That Some Sh*t!!!!

Have you ever had to take a shit at work, and to get to the bath room there is always a few desk you have to pass to get there. I hate having to pass those few desks, because I feel like those people are watching me and judging me. Like if I’m in the bathroom too long, they know I was shitting.  You have to look at their faces when you come out the bathroom, those judging eyes. I’m always paranoid too, I feel like when I go in there they send out an email to the whole office, “that nigga shitting again, with his nasty shitty ass”. The worse is being on the toilet and somebody else comes in the bathroom, and you just freeze up. Why the fuck do I do that?  I’m in the bathroom sitting down on the toilet, my pants over my ankles, what the fuck else could they think I’m doing if not shitting? It’s not like I got caught taking a shit in a dumpster in an alley. This is the bathroom, I’m supposed to do this here. I’m sitting on the toilet, trying not to make a sound, because I don’t

LOVE COUNTS

Out of the last 10 girls that I have previously dated, 9 fell off and their memory has since faded. 8 of the women that I used to be with, I was just happy to be seen with. 7 of the ten was strictly about the sex, And out of the 7 I only cared about 6. 5 of those girls gotta chance to see the real, But only 4 of them stayed, the others couldn’t deal 1 of the 4 was still in love with her X man, So how could she fall in love with the next man? She tried to hide the emotion, didn’t want to let it show, But that love is hard to hide, so go back to what you know. So now that brings me down to 3 girls, 3 special women I allow into my world. Number 3 was a bad one, sex full of passion, Physical love is good, but it’s rarely everlasting. Number 2 was my everything, Her love had me at the mall looking at wedding rings, Even told my mother, said “she could be the one” She just smiled at me and said, “Have patience son”. A mother’s wisdom, I’m glad I li

JUST A MOMENT....

Well if our love is just a moment, I'll purchase ever second just to say that I have owned it, And in that thought, I pray that you never loaned it. Your heart's my responsibility, so i take the onus, And it's all on us, To protect our moments from the world because they all up on us. Jealous of our love because they can’t repeat our performance. Bitter memories of sweet times, If I could stay sleep I’d be fine, Because my dreams are always of you, Being awake is nightmare I wish I could undo, But if I have to give up my love for your dreams Then you can dance on my heart until your feet bleed. Because what you love, is what I love about you, And to deny you your love, no I’m not about to. All I ask is that you remember me, All the nights I kissed you tenderly, You were such a good friend to me, That’s why I pray the day you return to me.

The Evolution of Fashion: Becoming the Gentleman

Looking back on some old photo albums I laugh playfully at how I used to dress. Being an adult now, I sometimes question the way those younger than me dress, but then it hits me: We all have our phases of fashion. I continued to look over my photo albums and some friends as well and was able to determine that for the most part, we go through three phases until we find ourselves, fashionably speaking. PHASE I: The wonder years.             Phase one is your High School years. For most, before this your clothing choices were dominated by your parental figures. Your choices in apparel were limited and monitored. However, even if you had freedom to choose at this point, the high school teen is far too impressionable to really have their own fashion sense. Think back. This is an overwhelming time of peer pressure in your life and the need to fit in with the cool kids takes control. Thus you don’t really have your own individual style, but your fashion is a group effort that i

CIRCLE OF LOVE

See boy meets girl And girl meets boy And boy and girl they fall in love But boy doesn’t know About that boy With whom she previously broke up See loves a drug And she’s fucked up No she never finished rehab So boy meet s girl And girl meets boy And now this shit is just gon’ end bad Cause she with you But she with him And when she with you she think about him So she get on you To get over him But she can’t hide she can pretend She wearing thin, she starting to show What if he find out, what if he know But a even bigger problem that exist is one she don’t even know he has, Is that he still in love with his ex, and he ain’t let go of his past. So while she with him, he with her And while he with her she with him But what’s really crazy and amazing is what’s linking all of them See the girl he was with before he even met this other girl She used to date this other dude who forever changed her world But they broke up, they was

I LOVE YOU BRUH: ODE TO THE WINGMAN

Wingman is a role that a person may take when a friend needs support with approaching potential partners. A wingman is someone who is on the "inside" and is used to help someone with relationships. The 'Pre-Wing' refers to the talking up of one friend to another in order to build an attractive persona before any direct interactions. The pre-wing is then usually followed up by the wingman role; the follow-up support often involving befriending associates of the potential partner. --Wikipedia Wingman oh wingman you are my greatest friend You have been there with me, on you I can depend. Those countless nights, of random and drunken encounters Like actors on stage, every move I make, you counter. How flawless and smooth, our routine was so top notch No girl could say no, our game could not be stopped. My wingman oh wingman, how do I love thee, Let me recall the moments, let me recall the scenes. Remember that night, when we walked into the bar, We were alr

Mrs. Jones: The truth about the sidepiece.

A few months ago an acquaintance of mine asked me if I could write about “the sidepiece”. She was going through a situation where she was the “mistress” of this man’s relationship. So I’m going to finally break down the situation and explain it from my point of view. As usual, I’m a little more straight forward than most. What is a sidepiece? Pimpster’s dictionary defines a “sidepiece” as a piece of ass. A woman or man who is not the main character in another person’s love story. This individual usually only serves a sexual purpose to the relationship and often is not called upon and or communicated with unless needed to perform his or her sexual duty. A sidepiece has no authority in the relationship and no privileges other than sexual. They provide a service. There are many reasons why someone attains a sidepiece. None of the good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless. The relationship is failing, they are not satisfied, or plain boredom.   There are two roles in this dance

CLOSURE: Hindsight of love

His last words: Hey, I know it’s been a long time since we last spoke. I honestly didn’t mean for it to be this long. I heard that you got engaged, congratulations. I mean, I was shocked when I heard this. I guess as stupid as it sounds, I always liked the thought that there was a chance we would find each other again. You know, that somehow the world would lead us back to each other. I guess this is my last opportunity, to say all the things I should have said then. I remember when I first met you, my God you were so beautiful. I had heard people talk about butterflies before, not thinking that was a real thing…but boy did I have them when we had our first date. I’d been in love before, but this was completely different. You were completely different. It’s crazy how everything can be going right, then you blink, and everything changes. It’s how a couple handles that change that defines them, and or divides them. It just happened so quickly, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. How w

THE MUSIC NEVER LIES

Here is something most women have probably looked past when trying to determine what place they took in a man’s life. Searching for clues and or answers to a very complicated question such as, “does he love me”, or “does he want to be with me”? Well there is one sure fire way of knowing that answer. Listen to the music.                         You see, every man at some point will create a playlist of music he deems worthy of your company. That playlist, while seemingly a small thing, has major implications to his opinion of you. But the best way for me to explain this by giving you examples from my own life. Of course for those of you who know me, I was once a great player, and what I’m sharing should be taken as facts.             Example # 1.   “You are a ho” If you walk into a guys apartment and any of the following is playing, than that guy thinks of you as a piece of ass. It is probably likely that before you guys got together he called his boys and said the foll

Multiple Personalities

MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES I have done some very extensive research on female personalities, and by extensive research, I mean dating tons and tons of very hot chicks….ok, a few fat girls too, but I was really drunk and they don’t count. But in this extensive research I have found that every girl has at least three personalities. That’s not to say they don’t have more, but there are your three basics that every girl has: The girl you meet, the girl you’re dating, and the girl on her period. Wait, before you get outraged, let me explain, and then get outraged. THE GIRL YOU MEET It’s a classic moment isn’t fellas? You’re going through your day, not even expecting to bump into the girl of your dreams. Then out of nowhere, there she is, Mrs. Right. She’s gorgeous, I mean everything a guy likes, amazing eyes, hair is flawless, perky wonderful breasts, a nice round ass, oh man, she is the one. The world slows down as you levitate towards her and introduce yourself. And wow, she loves everything

MANSCAPING: MY FIRST JOURNEY

So here I am, standing at a crossroads that all men find themselves at some point in their life. In my right hand I hold a pair of clippers, Wahl, 26 piece adjustable clippers with 13 guide tips. It’s grooming time. What will no doubt end hauntingly bad starts with the upmost of good intentions. “Nobody wants an untidy man”, I say to myself. So it is only logical that I taper things a bit. No man in his right man would proceed with what is about to take place, but these actions are usually the reaction of one simple opinion. A woman’s opinion. So, let me preface this story.             I’m on a hot date with a very sexy young lady. Things are progressing in the sexual manner and it becomes clear to me that it’s about to go down. We get back to her place 2 hours later, (I’m lying), she climaxes four times (still lying) and we pass out on the bed. As we lay there in our sweaty nakedness she looks down at my man region, depleted from sexual warfare. She looks at it for a while and then s

HO PHASE

As I sift through some old photos in my Facebook album I smile as I remember some of the more wild times in my life. How reckless I was, how crazy I could get, how unbelievably slutty I acted. I wondered what had led me to be that person.   Was it genetics? Was it my environment? Or was it simply the fact that I was a product of life itself.   I monitored the lives of others, friends, old girlfriends, and came up with a simple solution. It was my “Ho Phase”. The “Ho Phase”: A period of time in an individual’s life whether they be male or female when they experience an elevated lifestyle of sexual deviancy and a rambunctious hormonal outpouring resulting in a carefree adventure into promiscuity with an entourage usually consisting of drugs, alcohol, and bad decisions.   But why does this “Ho Phase” occur? For many different reasons my friend. But let’s break this down by gender. Men: Men by nature are horny creatures prone to spread their seed amongst the numbers of the fem