INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He loved the way she slept. “How is that even possible”, he would ask himself? But it was…and he did. He loved everything about the time they spent together, the way his hand fit in hers, the way she laughed when he was being silly, and how she knew his response to something before it even happened. Familiarity can often be a buzz kill, but with her, it was a turn on. It was sexy to them the comfortableness of the space they shared, the coziness of their stare. He loved how when they went to the movies, after each trailer they would look at each other and shake their head yes or no, always on the same page. It was their thing, and although minuscule , he hoped she shared that with no one else. As they lay in bed she turns to her side and lets out a pout, arching her back. A tell-tale sign that she wanted a back rub. Which of course she knew she would get, as he always obliged. Lying there, rubbing her back, kissing her shoulder, deep in the midst of pure intimacy, the picture perfect ...

I can't even explain how much you be on my mind, You probably think it's never cause I never give you time, And I never have the time, that's me usually lying, Cause I'm lying in the bed next to some chick and I'm lying. Talking bout all the places to see, all the things we can do, Knowing that all of these things I'd rather be doing with you. But she ain't hit me up so I ain't hitting her up neither, It's like I need you to give me purpose, feeling like Justin Bieber. Staring at your number in my phone like I might delete her, But I might get drunk and lonely and I'll know I need her. Missed call, missed call, I see them but I'm sorry, It's summer time in Cali' and I'm somewhere at the after party, We're we supposed to Skype today? Damn was that today? But I'm passed out on the couch because I drank the night away. And just when you get too far away where you try and leave me, I reel you back in with good...

He's ready to fall in love, he wants to settle down, But he's lying to himself cause he gon'  mess around, Cause he's addicted to the city and the bright lights, He's in love with early mornings and even later nights, In the club, at the bar, sipping on his drink, Staring at the pretty girl in the bright pink, She looking like the next girl he wanna take home, She already putting her number is cell phone. But it's a number that he knows that he won't call, Cause if he ain't hitting tonight, then he won't hit at all, He finds himself stuck in such a vicious pattern, That if he met the right one, it probably wouldn't matter, Cause he's been in the game so long that it's all he knows. A wife is terrifying he more comfortable with them hoes, But he ready to fall in love, he's ready to commit, He laughing in the mirror, like that's some stupid shit... So let's take another shot let's push it to the max, We t...

I remember, I remember love, yeah how could I forget? I remember every memory of passion and pain, Sit back and reminisce. I remember you came to town in the fall, At at a time when my heart was coldest. And you warmed it up right from the start, Had me feeling like baby you can hold this... And I knew that you noticed, And I knew that you know this, Took me back to my high school days, Like girl who do yo go with? Cause you somebody I can grow with, You somebody I can show it, Show you the real me, Cause I know you can feel me, Fell in love so quickly, and Yeah we both guilty. The love too appealing, Alone with a broken heart, Hoping you can heal me, Take your time keep it real please. If this is real please, don't let it fall apart. I just hope we know what we're doing. Can't stop once we start. Remember how used it to feel... You laying in the bed and your head on my chest Remember how it used to feel. Getting chills from the wet of you kis...

Who you with? Who you been given your precious love? I hope you not with him just to pass the time like just because... Because I miss you but you know that I can't say it right...? And you just as stubborn so I know you gonna put up a fight. But I'm on your page looking at your pictures liking every post, And I know you see me watching you but you already made yo choice.. So I had no choice, had to step away and try to respect your space, But don't think for a second that I've forgotten about the beauty of your face, Because I wish that I could see you, and I wish that I could call, But my pride won't let me do it, no I'll never take that fall. Either you gonna reach out to me, or we just never gonna speak at all. I know you'll be good through the summer, but like temperatures you bound to fall. So, who you with? Who been given your precious time? I know he loves your body, but does he even appreciate your mind? Or recognize your grind, doe...

I got this girl pregnant once...yeah hell of a way to start a blog I know, but sh*t I'm just thinking out loud here. I was young, like a sophomore in college at home for spring break. The fact that I got a girl pregnant isn't what's important and or spectacular about this story. What is, is that she never told me. Not until about five years later when we happened to get together and hang out. No she didn't take me on Maury or anything, she didn't pop up at my door step with some child I had never seen before and tell me I was a father. Instead she told me that she didn't keep it. First reaction was how do I know if she's lying?...but I thought about that night....she wasn't. Besides, who makes up that kind of lie? Second reaction was why? She stated how I was in college and she didn't want to ruin my life. How she knew it was just a fling and even though we were serious in high school, she knew we had a lot of life to live and growing up to do. ...

As I sift through some old photos in my Facebook album I smile as I remember some of the more wild times in my life. How reckless I was, how crazy I could get, how unbelievably slutty I acted. I wondered what had led me to be that person.   Was it genetics? Was it my environment? Or was it simply the fact that I was a product of life itself.   I monitored the lives of others, friends, old girlfriends, and came up with a simple solution. It was my “Ho Phase”. The “Ho Phase”: A period of time in an individual’s life whether they be male or female when they experience an elevated lifestyle of sexual deviancy and a rambunctious hormonal outpouring resulting in a carefree adventure into promiscuity with an entourage usually consisting of drugs, alcohol, and bad decisions.   But why does this “Ho Phase” occur? For many different reasons my friend. But let’s break this down by gender. Men: Men by nature are horny creatures prone to spread their seed amongst the numb...