INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

"How bitter sweet", he thought as he walked the halls of his alma mater. He stared at the buildings where his education was housed, the quad where he often hung with friends, the streets parked on over and over again. Years had gone by since he'd last been, perhaps too many. Nothing looked the same, and yet somehow, it all still stood in great familiarity. He cracked a smile as he thought about his old loves and the places they made out. The corners used for kissing, the hallways of holding hands... He imagined his younger self, wide eyed and full of hope. He stepped into the chapel where he'd spent hours for talent contest and debates and sat on his favorite row. The chairs were new, but the air was not. He could sense the memories in room, they were in the floors and walls. The emotions were overwhelming as he watched hundreds upon hundreds of people meet with long lost friends. The hugs, the handshakes, the smiles and genuine laughter, a sea of beautiful black peop...

I got this girl pregnant once...yeah hell of a way to start a blog I know, but sh*t I'm just thinking out loud here. I was young, like a sophomore in college at home for spring break. The fact that I got a girl pregnant isn't what's important and or spectacular about this story. What is, is that she never told me. Not until about five years later when we happened to get together and hang out. No she didn't take me on Maury or anything, she didn't pop up at my door step with some child I had never seen before and tell me I was a father. Instead she told me that she didn't keep it. First reaction was how do I know if she's lying?...but I thought about that night....she wasn't. Besides, who makes up that kind of lie? Second reaction was why? She stated how I was in college and she didn't want to ruin my life. How she knew it was just a fling and even though we were serious in high school, she knew we had a lot of life to live and growing up to do. ...

She said how could you do this to me? You told me that you loved me. You've probably just forgotten, You'd remember if you hugged me. And she standing there, Reaching her arms out for me to take her. But I told myself no more lies, I promised I wouldn't be a faker, So I stood there, The writer that couldn't come up with the words, And she just stared at me, Tears falling down hitting the earth. She was my first love, She was my first love, She was the type of girl you get, When you don't deserve love. Because you too young and dumb, So you desert love, Puppy love is such a dessert love, The sweetest you'll ever get on this earth love. The best kisses I ever got was from the worst love. She said what am I supposed to do, I changed my life for you? Where am I supposed to go, I drove all night for you? I changed my whole life plan, to be right with you? I even went out, and aborted life for you. Her words cut me so deep it's like a kn...

As I sift through some old photos in my Facebook album I smile as I remember some of the more wild times in my life. How reckless I was, how crazy I could get, how unbelievably slutty I acted. I wondered what had led me to be that person.   Was it genetics? Was it my environment? Or was it simply the fact that I was a product of life itself.   I monitored the lives of others, friends, old girlfriends, and came up with a simple solution. It was my “Ho Phase”. The “Ho Phase”: A period of time in an individual’s life whether they be male or female when they experience an elevated lifestyle of sexual deviancy and a rambunctious hormonal outpouring resulting in a carefree adventure into promiscuity with an entourage usually consisting of drugs, alcohol, and bad decisions.   But why does this “Ho Phase” occur? For many different reasons my friend. But let’s break this down by gender. Men: Men by nature are horny creatures prone to spread their seed amongst the numb...