INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He was young and dumb. The most cliché of all cliche's, and yet the honest reality of who he was then. In fact, they were both young and dumb, but isn’t that when love is the best? A young and dumb love, with all of its fullness and richness; its flames not dampened down by the wet hurricane winds of what can only be described as adulthood. It was as pure and simple as the phrase, “boy meets girl”. But boy breaks girl’s heart, into many, many pieces, as boys often do at that age. It hurts him to see her now, all grown up, living a life he plays no part in, in a world he does not exist. He looks into her eyes and he sees his younger self, the silly, idiotic boy with the charming smile and best of intentions. She reminds him of Friday night lights and heavy schoolbooks, of crowded hallways and movie make out sessions. She reminds him of a pureness he had, long, long ago, before the world got to him. Holding her child he can’t help but wonder, who he would have been, who they would h...

The sun was high in the sky this particular Spring day in Los Angeles with not one cloud to find like one big lemon drop in a big blue ocean. I walked the streets of Hollywood with old friends I had not seen in some time, not since I left the brick laid streets of Baltimore in search of a passion I could not let go of... They often advertise about Dreams and how far they can take you, but they never really mention, that they also can take you far away from people you care about, people you love. After hours of marching through the tourist crowded streets of Hollywood and Highland, laughing at poorly dressed street performers, smiling at the hands in the concrete of the stars who's legacies were cemented in eternity, and jumping back from the people draped in live pet snakes, we made our way to a quiet back street in a tucked away place that only few knew about, those who needed to know. As we came off the elevator to the roof top level the sun seemed closer, the breeze warmer, ...

Conversations about relations that we know we can't have, But I'm still dreaming about the evenings that we walk down the ave'. Hand and hand, woman and man, a casual stroll with my bae, A little bit of wine for us to unwind, tell me all about your day. Let me put a smile on your face, kiss all around your waist, Let's travel to every place, and see the sunset a million ways. See I wanna see the world with you, because you mean the world to me, I look inside your eyes and get a of vision of what the world's supposed to be. With me is where you supposed to be, right here so stay close to me, Let me bathe you with my love and then wipe you down with my poetry. My words carry such potency, but your looks are bound to kill, But we're playing with hypothetical's and we both know dreams are hardly real. But let's get lost in the dream, let's fly away in the fantasy, Let's play make believe, and I believe in you romancing me. Enchanting...

Let's pack another suitcase, let's take another trip, You know we get it popping in any city pick. But we heading to Louisiana, where them country girls are thick. But we both some city slickers, they ain't ready for that sh*t. And it's Mardi Gras, we came to here party y'all, Please keep the shots coming cause we here to do it all. And you know how it goes when you light skin and you wavy, And she staring at you thinking about the pretty babies, Making plans for the future, but we making plans too. But our plans end in the morning when the next day comes through, See I'll treat you like a princess baby you are my Cinderella, But when the clock strikes, We both return to the prior status before we met up, But there no tears only thank you's and keep in touch, Because when you're both about the evening, The morning's don't mean that much. Sitting at dinner tables on outdoor patios while it's breezy, Good food, conversation...

He been chasing his dreams so long that it's hard to believe, That the prophesies over his life he would ever achieve. Cause he's been at it so long he can't think of a reason, Why it hasn't happen yet after so many seasons? Yet he keeps on grinding, don't stop believing. Working on his next script til' the depths of the evening. Just to wake up in a room where he can hardly move, This is a lifestyle that very few would halfheartedly choose. But he has a vision in his mind, a promise in his heart. He knew it would be a battle from the very early start. Sitting at his desk eating oatmeal again, When he get on swear to never eat oatmeal again. But that's a sacrifice necessary to survive the struggle That's a device used to entice him to thrive in his hustle. He knows talent alone won't ever be enough, So he's added discipline and persistence to make him tough. Living in a city that can break you down, He holds on to the image o...

Dear Friend, I was so tired by the end of our trip I feel I fell short in giving you my thoughts on the things you said. Life, is this troubling thing...it's this broken dream from our childhood...and being an adult...is all about rebuilding that dream with the pieces that are left. I wasn't shocked to hear about your struggles, after all, I know you better than most. The city is a magical place, but when you are surrounded by buildings that reach the sky, one can feel infinitely small and alone. It's only natural that depression can take hold of you. We both live in one of the largest cities in America and yet day after day we walk these streets alone, we pass by thousands of people each day, who we don't know, we don't speak... Both just out there chasing a dream, in love with an idea of who we want to be, and trying to become that. I know how much your Mom passing has changed you; no way such a loss could not. But I wanted to share my favorite memory of he...

He wanted to fall in love so damn fast, He was willing to make the wrong choices. He wanted to fall in love so damn bad, He was ignoring all of the voices. All of the voices in his head, Telling him that he should slow down, But everybody else so far ahead, He didn't wanna be the one left out. See he had a plan for his life, Yeah he had everything worked out. But life don't really care about plans, So naturally things ain't work out. Now he's on the edge of Thirty, Every girl he meets could be the one. So he rushes to fall in love early, Dating is painful it's no longer fun. Cause he was supposed to get married by thirty, First child by the age of thirty - two, A house with a sensible mortgage they could carry, Now she pregnant with child number two. Two car garage and his and her sinks, House in the suburbs where everybody speaks. Family vacations and trips to beach, Hanging Christmas lights on the family tree. He wrote down everything ...

He had entered into the rightful age of 31 with wide eyes and big hopes, the same as all the other years. Although, much like those years before, he was becoming more cynical about the possibilities of love. It wasn't just the fact that it had alluded him for some time now, but more so the fact that he had just the same alluded love.  As if they reached an agreement, each armed with their own top divorce lawyer of sorts. Love would leave and take all of its empty promises with it, and he would walk away and take everything that he brought with him. His new focus would be his career. Cliche to say the least as many 30 somethings clinged to the one thing that they felt they could control. "This is simply what life is for me", he convinced himself. Some find love, some walk alone. He reminded himself that some men are not meant to be happy, they are meant to be great. Something he heard on a television show that he tried to assimilate into his own life. So he dive...

I fell in love in a dream, I fell in love with a dream, It was the ideal moment, it was the picture perfect scene. Reality was too harsh, the real of it unfair, So I drifted off into a dream, knowing that she'd be there. When I close my eyes is when I wake up, She lies there with no make-up, Pretending like she's asleep, But really wanting for me to wake up. I stare at her for what feels like hours, We're stuck in the bed, Listening happily to the sound of rain showers. As soft as the kisses I place on her head. It's an early autumn day, in our big loft in the city, With the floor to ceiling windows, the fall can be so pretty. And we're wrapped up in our covers, our Egyptian cotton sheets, And the smell of her hair, is just so wonderfully sweet. And we lay and talk for hours, about our trips around the globe, London and Paris, and our most recent trip to Rome, And of all the beautiful places, none of them was like home, Home is where your smi...

Sitting in the guidance counselor's office a younger Dave sat, She asking me in ten years, "where do you see yourself at"? A good question indeed, before I proceed, Let's consider where I'm at now to understand what I could be. A young man in college, on his quest for the knowledge, Ride wasn't fly but he kept his wheels polished. Two bedroom apartment tucked away in the projects, Just met a girl body shaped like a Goddess, And to be honest, he was a bit tired of the parade, Girls marching in and out at any time of the day. Plus on top of that he had just found his passion, Mr. Director, they waiting on you to call out action. Fell in love with the stage, the words on the page, The lights shined bright, so we rehearsed it for days. When the show came out every body was amazed, And it felt so amazing to receive all the praise. California in his future, his name in the lights, Wifey standing by his side, she always do him right. First chil...

              Of all the bad days I've had in my life, and there have been plenty, this one in particular, was bad. Although looking back on it now, I can't remember what made it so bad. I guess that's how it goes. It's bad up until that something good happens, and then you tend to forget the bad before. I was walking down the boardwalk on a summer night, I was alone, which made me stand out, even as I blended my way through the coupled up crowds. The sky was that shade of purple and orange, the kind of sunset that made you feel closer to the heavens.       I made my way up the pier to the very end, as if I needed to be as close to the edge as possible so that my physical surrounding matched my emotional mood. Standing alone amongst the waves, the whole world crashing and moving around me, and me standing still staring out into a future I had no way to reach. Yep, that was me. Drowning in an ocean of self pity and doubt.  ...

It all happened so early She was fifteen years old Body developed quick Yeah she starting show Now everyday at school She be part of the show Rumors flying around Saying she ready to go Daughter to a single mother She was out of control Eyes just like her father She had part of his soul I guess that's a reason why She was hard to behold So instead, her role models and true idols Were reality stars with misleading titles If you wanna Kanye West Gotta play Kim Kardashian Building your empire Off every rapper you smash again Or at the very least You can get you a Wiz Car notes stay getting paid On behalf of your kid Promises on the TV Disguised as beautiful lies So she buys her a plane ticket And to the city she flies Now she in the club And she displaying her thighs Ball players getting caught up By the look in her eyes And she done learned real well With her hooks and her lies But she gotta drug problem Yeah she hooked to the night Coc...

My dreams are often rejected by my reality. Reality is the acceptance of the state you are in, but dreams are the possibility of what you can become. Life therefore, is and should be the pursuit of a dream. Reality is the cause and effect of a dream deferred. The reality of a situation is only the mind accepting the failure of a dream. When one is told to face reality, in essence, he is told to abandon his dreams. We live in a world of reality. Only the brave dare to dream. Too many of us are stuck in the hell of life. Trapped by our realities and prohibited from our dreams. Fear binds us to our reality. When fear tells us we need to pay our bills, reality is to get a job that pays, even if you have to abandon a dream. However, faith is the energy of dreams. Whether it be faith in ourselves, in God, or in others, faith inspires us to dream. Dreams are the thoughts of our subconscious, the mind that is trapped by our reality. You dream of the stars, but your reality ...

Late night and I barely can sleep, The past haunting me, cruising down memory street. Looking at the bed at the spot where she used to sleep, So lonely I catch myself sniffing the sheets... There it is, still got her scent on it, Love cost counting how much I spent on it, Facebook stalking, ah shit who this new n*gga, Forgot her love, she went found her a new n*gga. It ain't like you didn't even have a clue n*gga, Secretly hoping that at least he stay true with her. Regretfully feeling like you fucked up, And it's probably because you always stay fucked up. Out in the club taking shots getting fucked up, Walking out the door with some chick you just picked up. Ignoring her calls, deleting her text, You lost in the sauce, you in lust with her sex, Young man mistakes, becoming old news, Stuck in the same path, with these old shoes. 33 out acting like you 22 With a bad bitch find out she only 22, And feeling so high like you sitting on 22's Gotta be...

What a beautiful feeling when love songs start to make sense, And you feel like every word is just common sense. But then that heartache reveals your incompetence, And you realize that common sense ain't been common since. If love don’t cost a thing then why does it always leave you broke? Standing in the courtroom arguing over who gets the most. Good times always seem to turn into bad memories, Staring at old photo’s and asking, “do you remember me”? Please pardon all these skeleton’s in my closet, Still love don’t cost thing, but she gonna need a deposit. That’s why I'm posting pretty pictures all over my facebook To replace the man who used to tell me how pretty my face looked. My ex told me he loved me and made a bad decision, And everyday he thinks about the love that he knows he's missing. And I used to hope that one day he would feel that pain, Thinking that knowledge would help me to be whole again, But honestly his honesty ...