INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

I'm a big hopeless romantic, and for us, the "how we met" story is important. It should be magical in it's moment, and memorable to the masses. For me, the "how we met" story is so important, that at times I may discount a girl I like just because I don't believe how we met was magical enough. I mean it's a story you are going to be telling family and friends for years to come, and always seems like the best relationships start with a great start. Say you are in line at the coffee shop your name is Alex, but so is this really pretty girl, who you bump into when they call out the order for Alex, so you both reach for the cup at the same time and touch hands. MAGIC. Or you are about to get in line at the grocery store when this guy cuts you off, so you start arguing with him, and somehow by the time it's all over, you have a date planned. MAGIC. I guess that's why I am not the biggest fan of internet dating. There is no spark to that, no mag...

I remember the first time that I saw her, The first time she ever got close. I remember falling in love with her freckles, Trying to decide which one I loved most. I would spend hours trying to count them, But there was always one I'd miss. I would draw circles with my tongue all around them, There wasn't one I didn't try to kiss. She was my beautiful freckled face baby, She was my spotted Leopard of love, Her body all speckled and amazing, It drove me crazy with every touch. I would daydream about our kids, We'd have a whole little freckled bunch, And we'd argue over the names we'd give, I'd say Cashmere and she'd say "You're nuts", But somethings aren't meant to be, I guess somethings aren't meant to last, But she's still my beautiful freckled face baby, And I reminisce on our spotted past.

I can't date, no I just can't date, Because I've been in love before, so I can't wait. Because I know the feeling that I get, That tingling in my chest, The thumping of my heart, the hiccup of my breath. And that's how I should feel when I see her for the first time, Otherwise we playing games, this is just rehearse time. Stuck at dinner conversations feeling like rehearsed lines, Wishing I could reverse time, girl this is theworst time. That's why I believe in love at the first sight, Waiting at the airport trying to make my first flight. Standing at security, caught her looking curiously, The prettiest young lady, smile made of purity. Just hoping that she would be heading towards the same gate, Had to be destiny for us to book a flight on the same date, Trying to justify, the twinkle in her pretty eyes, She caught me looking once, twice, okay maybe three times. Knee high boots, tight jeans, and a pea coat, Looking hot as hell when it'...

I see a ring on her finger, my mind starts to linger, Clicking through her photos going down memory lane. Honestly I'm happy for her, I hope that he adores her, But yet and still I can't keep the past from haunting my brain. I remember when I met her, I was working on my letters, Junior year coming and Varsity football right on the brink, It was the last days of summer, me and my partners, Friday nights used to pop, up at the skating rink. She was light skin, slight thin, with golden brown hair, Tight jeans and Timbs, thinking what's going on here? My boy knew her home girl, yeah he already the plug, So I skated into heart, talking baby what's up? Soon as she smiled I was done, yeah I knew I was done, Couple skating to 112, yeah cupid had won. Plans to meet up at the movies, mom can I get a ride? Your parents ain't know I was coming, so we had to meet inside. Heavy make out sessions in the back row of the place, We not even watching the movie, to...

Feels a little bit colder outside, yep a little chilly, Like growing up and realizing in the real world they never free willy. He still locked up in his tank doing tricks for fish, Funny thing is I feel like I'm doing the same shit, Stuck in this cubicle like look at me boss I did work, Looking at my paycheck like damn this what my soul worth, This why my soul hurts, walking this whole earth, Walking on this road alone until my soles hurt, Looking for love in all the right places, But tragically it's littered with all the wrong the faces, Life is a game of spades know who with play with, Cause these days players is cutting all the aces, I guess this generation ain't got no hearts, But they heavy in the clubs though, And they doing whatever they can to shine, Because the diamonds have the best glow.  Had a conversation with my father the other day and he told me, Nobody should be fifty years old and still be lonely. It reminded me of a Chris Rock joke he...

One of the sweetest things to hear and the hardest things to say Is saying that I miss you, because it means you've went away Saying that I miss you meaning I wish that you could stay Knowing that I miss you, means I've missed another day. I miss you, that there is an issue,  Right there is some tissue, each tear is a missile, she killing me Tell me are you feeling me, with out even feeling me Can you get the real of me, can you see the realer me Can it be reality, or is this fatality, Body blows with every emoji that winks and smiles at me Trying not to kill the messenger, she killing me on messenger Waking up to the sound of the ring all on my messenger I'll return the favor my queen, like I owe a debt to ya' Coldest winters in New York, I know every brother sweatin' her Regularly I'm Skyping her, my older brother hyping her, My momma even liking her, boys saying there's a wife in her And I miss you, hate saying I miss you, That there ...

I almost fell in love,  yeah I almost made her mine We got so close, to being the most, but I almost every time. Almost said I love you, almost made it work. And I get so close to almost, then I always make you hurt Like I almost could be a good man, I almost could be true. But you over there, and I 'm over here, and almost just won't due. I almost made it big, yeah I almost reached the top But almost ain't doing the most, like you almost hit her spot. And we almost get it right, yeah we almost went all the way 23 hours of good love, and the last hour I throw it away. And we almost were a couple, yeah we almost were together But when you almost in love, then almost means never. We almost made up, and I almost apologized. I wrote you a love letter, then tore it up, and cried. I was almost man enough, only almost, but I tried. Maybe next time I wont be almost, and swallow all my pride. You can call me Mr. Almost, I'm Mr. In Between I'm not the o...