INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He sat on the train questioning what he was doing, as if he really didn't know. He was making that all too familiar mistake again, his favorite mistake. He was on his way to see her. It had been some time since he’d last seen her, and the last encounter had not gone the way he had hoped. The irony of the Drake lyrics being hummed in his ear, "redemption's on your mind when you think about me", were all too haunting. True she was his favorite mistake, but perhaps, just perhaps, he was hers. A mistake they both would continually make until they got it right or finally gave up. He got off the train to the breezy chill of a spring afternoon by the beach. The air was filled with the voices of friends and family and lovers walking around. People smiling and laughing as if this one day, everyone got to be happy and perhaps he would too. He made his way through the crowds of people growing more nervous with every step closer towards their meeting point. "Be cool", ...

I can't even explain how much you be on my mind, You probably think it's never cause I never give you time, And I never have the time, that's me usually lying, Cause I'm lying in the bed next to some chick and I'm lying. Talking bout all the places to see, all the things we can do, Knowing that all of these things I'd rather be doing with you. But she ain't hit me up so I ain't hitting her up neither, It's like I need you to give me purpose, feeling like Justin Bieber. Staring at your number in my phone like I might delete her, But I might get drunk and lonely and I'll know I need her. Missed call, missed call, I see them but I'm sorry, It's summer time in Cali' and I'm somewhere at the after party, We're we supposed to Skype today? Damn was that today? But I'm passed out on the couch because I drank the night away. And just when you get too far away where you try and leave me, I reel you back in with good...

She said that she loved him,  But she wasn't in love with him anymore. There's a difference between the two feelings, One that she could no longer ignore. She said she had to move on, She had dreams she needed to go chase, He was just trying to hold on, As the tears flowed down his face. "Did I do something wrong", he asked? "Was my love not all that you needed"? "Maybe she found someone else", he thought? Could that have been the reason? Nonetheless she packed her bags and left, Months went by without one word. Until one day he received a post card, His heart stopped, he knew it was her. It said how much she missed him, And how she wished that they could talk, She understands why he took his position, When she packed her bags and walked. But she was hoping when she got back, They could at least spend a little time. He could already feel his heart crack, But he wanted to appear as if he was fine. So they decided to have ...

Out of the last 10 girls that I have previously dated, 9 fell off and their memory has since faded. 8 of the women that I used to be with, I was just happy to be seen with. 7 of the ten was strictly about the sex, And out of the 7 I only cared about 6. 5 of those girls gotta chance to see the real, But only 4 of them stayed, the others couldn’t deal 1 of the 4 was still in love with her X man, So how could she fall in love with the next man? She tried to hide the emotion, didn’t want to let it show, But that love is hard to hide, so go back to what you know. So now that brings me down to 3 girls, 3 special women I allow into my world. Number 3 was a bad one, sex full of passion, Physical love is good, but it’s rarely everlasting. Number 2 was my everything, Her love had me at the mall looking at wedding rings, Even told my mother, said “she could be the one” She just smiled at me and said, “Have patience son”. A mother’s wisdom, I’m glad I li...