INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

While a student in college, living in the dorm’s taught me one very important thing. The kind of girl’s I were interested in, were not interested in having sex on a twin size bed that doubled as storage.   By the time freshman year ended, I already had formed my escape. Thinking back on my first apartment I can smile and laugh. It was a modest attempt really for a 19 year old guy who didn’t even know what the hell a “thread count” meant. With a Safari “all in one” bed set from Target, some candles and wall sconces, and a theme matching bathroom, and I was in business. As sad as they may sound, business was good. I was still more advanced than any guy I knew, my roommate included, who would often ask for my advice for his own room.   In contrast to most male students with their all black everything design, together, we had one of the more advanced apartments around.   It was that apartment that sent me walking proudly towards the man I am today.   As I was out this pa...

  Who the f*ck you think you are, like who the f*ck you think you is...? Since when you start leaving me on read on all my messages? You want me to see you not answer like that's what the message is, No answer at all like you ain't understand what the question is....? The question is, do you remember back when you wasn't sh*t? Before the films and the cars and you wasn't it, Who was the one that treated you like you deserved that sh*t, And now you treat me like my hello's get on your nerves and sh*t, You wasn't acting that way when I first let you hit, P*ssy so good you swore to me you'd never forget. That I was the one in the city to hold you down, And now you treat me like my presence just holds you down. "Hold me now", that's what you used to say inside my bed, Body trembling and sweat dripping down, all on my legs. Who gave you focus when you had none, thoughts scattered? Helped you to pay attention to dreams and things ...

 It seems like the only way to get views is to coordinate challenging dances, Nobody got time to read poetry about love and romances, Unless it comes with a hot shot of some hot shot influencer, These are the things that really seem to influence ya'. It's that or hit you with those "be like" videos, This is what it be like when bae catches me watching videos Or sliding in Dm's, or jealous ass B.M's,  This is the society that we all live in... I suggest you adjust and just get to dancing, Popularity is the new currency and these companies spending. Instant messages from accounts that I don't even know, All telling me that for a cost they can help my page grow. So I go constantly back and forth about letting my page go All in between thoughts of whether to let my rage go... Do you play the game even though you hate it just to make it? Pop locking all the way to the top to say you made it? Just so you can drive the kind of car that gets you hated.. And buy th...

These days guys hide relationships like bad taxes, Seems the only way to keep a relationship is to deny access, We built a culture where it's normal to share your privacy But some love is so good it's only for your eyes to see. So go ahead and lie to me as if she not who you desiring The best change happens in the dark where caterpillars be. Come out a butterfly and just your spread your wings, Reaching new heights with your wife to be.. Watching a whole generation suffer from being indecisive, Too many options got you paralyzed on who to live your life with. I don't even think it's natural for us to know all these people, 500 friends and you gotta pretend that each one is equal. It doesn't work that way no it doesn't work, Some people are you moon and the others your earth. Some make you feel weightless like you can hardly breathe, Some keep you grounded and give the nutrition that your body needs The best love is the love that's been through some shit, Lik...

Realizing now more than ever I'm in love with my past, Unable to see the future when you looking back, But yet and still I have to, I mean look at that. Those good times with good friends and good girls that I turned bad, If only I could turn back, but do I mean time or do I mean forward, Hard to walk it straight with nothing to move toward... And you're always off course cause of course you run back in time, It happens like every time, repeating the same mistakes, In love with the heart break, I guess pain really is pleasure huh, You write better broken down, as if every word picks you up. We stay up all night, we drink too fast, We do thee most, hoping we don't crash, This is my life, these are the highlights, These are the dark days, that follow the bright nights, This feels quite nice, this feels quite right, Looking at old tattoos I used to kiss all night. Familiarity is a dangerous comfort, Hurts my soul to see how poorly life has done her, But yet s...

We no fall in love no more, we stay "ghosting". Relationships take too much work, we steady coasting. Love me now, cause you know I'm leaving soon If May is when we start, then end it all in June. Never see you later, so you better see me soon. Do we go together, you'd be foolish to assume. New relationship every other week, gotta switch it up, Bumble, Tinder, Hinge,  try not to mix them up. Scrolling through messages like damn I forgot to respond to her, Feeling bad for only a moment cause I was fond of her. Then I'm back to it, swiping quickly as I go through it. This is so stupid but I'm so fluent, Make her smile with Gif is my gift in the application, This not dating we just checking each others application. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear via text message, Caressing her whole body through a sex message. Digital love moving fast at top net speeds, Love me now cause you won't know come next week. Relationships take too much work, we ...

All my exes love me.... at least that's what Bam thinks, As we share drinks on a white beach in cool heat... Shit, I love all my exes, that's even worse, He feels like I'm blessed, I feel like I'm cursed. "At least you got love, somebody who cares, Who wants you to be there, who wants you to be theirs, I got nobody" Yeah they want me, but only after the fact, They went out into the world, and the world broke their back, So now they come back, cause now they know better, I was the one writing em' poetry and sweet letters, And look where it got me, late nights in hotel lobbies, This player shit gone on too long, this was suppose to be a hobby, But probably, I'm in this shit for life, While out running the town, I forgot to get a wife. I was on a date recently with this girl that I met, And she's telling me about her ex fiance' Whom she thought that she would wed. And how when he put the ring on her hand, that's when everythin...