INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

Realizing now more than ever I'm in love with my past, Unable to see the future when you looking back, But yet and still I have to, I mean look at that. Those good times with good friends and good girls that I turned bad, If only I could turn back, but do I mean time or do I mean forward, Hard to walk it straight with nothing to move toward... And you're always off course cause of course you run back in time, It happens like every time, repeating the same mistakes, In love with the heart break, I guess pain really is pleasure huh, You write better broken down, as if every word picks you up. We stay up all night, we drink too fast, We do thee most, hoping we don't crash, This is my life, these are the highlights, These are the dark days, that follow the bright nights, This feels quite nice, this feels quite right, Looking at old tattoos I used to kiss all night. Familiarity is a dangerous comfort, Hurts my soul to see how poorly life has done her, But yet s...

We no fall in love no more, we stay "ghosting". Relationships take too much work, we steady coasting. Love me now, cause you know I'm leaving soon If May is when we start, then end it all in June. Never see you later, so you better see me soon. Do we go together, you'd be foolish to assume. New relationship every other week, gotta switch it up, Bumble, Tinder, Hinge,  try not to mix them up. Scrolling through messages like damn I forgot to respond to her, Feeling bad for only a moment cause I was fond of her. Then I'm back to it, swiping quickly as I go through it. This is so stupid but I'm so fluent, Make her smile with Gif is my gift in the application, This not dating we just checking each others application. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear via text message, Caressing her whole body through a sex message. Digital love moving fast at top net speeds, Love me now cause you won't know come next week. Relationships take too much work, we ...

All my exes love me.... at least that's what Bam thinks, As we share drinks on a white beach in cool heat... Shit, I love all my exes, that's even worse, He feels like I'm blessed, I feel like I'm cursed. "At least you got love, somebody who cares, Who wants you to be there, who wants you to be theirs, I got nobody" Yeah they want me, but only after the fact, They went out into the world, and the world broke their back, So now they come back, cause now they know better, I was the one writing em' poetry and sweet letters, And look where it got me, late nights in hotel lobbies, This player shit gone on too long, this was suppose to be a hobby, But probably, I'm in this shit for life, While out running the town, I forgot to get a wife. I was on a date recently with this girl that I met, And she's telling me about her ex fiance' Whom she thought that she would wed. And how when he put the ring on her hand, that's when everythin...

Fell in love with a big bad wolf dressed as a nice girl, So well disguised in her lies that I couldn't tell. Wasn't until later that discovered her fangs, I guess I was just too busy focused on other things. But once I knew better I decided to do better, Tried to wall off my heart, but I wasn't too clever. Cause I, built that first wall out of rocks sand. And it all came crumbling down at the touch of her hand. That's when I started writing, "doing it again". Big bad wolf sank her fangs in again. Second time I got away I knew I had to improve, Made better decisions so my mind I wouldn't lose, Built a new wall out of sticks and mud, But that still couldn't last as she huffed and puffed, As she sucked and fucked, I knew I was still stuck, I knew I was still fucked, the deeper her fangs cut. Poor little piggy, can't figure it out. Trying to build walls, but can't keep her out. My third attempt was a wall built out of concrete and...

He walked the world alone, With all these thoughts on his mind, Like would he ever find love, I mean it's taken all this time. How much longer did he have to play, Like he wasn't ready to settle down, Putting on the upbeat face, Even though he felt beat down. He would go out at night, And the girls would always say, I know you have a lot of girls, You look like the type to play. It seemed they always presumed his story, A book known best by his cover, But if they ever cared to read more she'd, Realize that he's truly a lover. But they don't so he plays a part, A character he knows so well, And continues to break their heart, But he breaks his own as well. They expect you to act this way, And you never seem hesitant, To broadcast it every day, Innocent Thoughts of a Guilty Man presents...

Thinking back to my younger days when love seemed so possible, See a pretty girl and think to myself anything is plausible. But not now, we far too young to even settle down, Twenty three and free so every night we going out. Tear the city up we all yelling as we drink more, Wishing to myself I should've took time to think more. Because the days fly by when you not sober and hungover, Mid twenties creep up on you but it's cool game not over, Plenty of time to comeback and to fall in love, Because your money getting right and you been bit by the travel bug, So it's Miami in the summer and Paris in the fall, Costa Rica for the winter, meeting women, having a ball. And it's not meaningless sex if it means something to us, Vacation love has always been much easier to trust. So love me now but let me go when my flight is here, Look up to realize that I done partied through another year. When she get married and start posting pics of a baby? And how she get...

"Seven Days" is a poetic story of what it is like in the span of a week in the world of internet and app dating. It explores the highs and lows and just how quickly the relationship starts and ends. One of the most read poems from my blog, I am happy to bring it to life with the talented Quinterra Custis.

The two of them walked into the museum wide eyed and slightly tipsy, intoxicated off the drink, and off the possibilities… the opportunity for a spark to grow, and grow. They walked the corridors of the space, walls filled with art of every kind, and yet, what he admired most was her. She was art to him,  God’s most natural painting. She catches him staring and smiles. It had been so long for him, to have that kind of feeling, the nervousness, the wondering…for far too long he had shut himself off from such a thing. If mastering a skill takes thousands upon thousands of hours, then surely he had mastered the skill of being single. She had spent so many other dates trying not to care, trying not to fall, and she had succeeded in doing that. But this...was different. The harder he tried not to like her, the deeper she penetrated his barriers, and at last, after much struggle, he gave in to her smile, her charm, and let free of all his worries. The two walked the corridors of the mu...

It's early morning and I'm yawning with my coffee and cream, Sitting in the corner of the shop trying to work on a few things, But the observer in me starts to observe what he sees, Taking notes of the sights and all the troubling things. There is a man, bags in hand, having trouble to speak, To be honest and not modest he probably aint washed in a week. He takes some pills from his bag and he pops a few , He starting to nod off but he fights it he must refuse, Cause he done seen the news, and knows how that plays out, Being black in a coffee shop can get yo ass laid out. What shame, whoa who's this dame, she out here dressed to kill, I love a corporate sister killing it in a skirt and heels, I wanna flirt for real, but I respect her skills, Being black in corporate america, the double tax is real.  As she blow slowly the steam from her latte, I can't help but imagine  but every inch of her body. Here come the hipsters, there go the rock...

She knew he wasn't shit, he's a player and shit, And if she got too close that he would play her and shit, He's only faking like he cares he don't care about shit, Accept for getting what he wants, everything else is just shit. She knew he wasn't shit, but his love was the shit, He be rubbing her whole body with lotions and shit, He fucking her whole soul with emotions and shit, He be cruising through her waters like the ocean and shit, Biblical strokes, like he Moses and shit, He part her legs open and get to stroking and shit. Sending him text messages and he ignoring them shits, Phone calls get blocked, you not important and shit. He playing ball with his boys, he out on the court and shit, Talking bout the girls he fucking like it's a sport and shit. Yet his bad behavior, every day, you supporting that shit, Let him back in ya home like y'all courting and shit. And your girls try to warn you, try to tell you and shit, But she defend him,...

He lay in bed next to her, neither speaking nor moving. He noticed that she covered herself to leave the room, something in the past she would have never done. But this wasn't the past, or was it? Perhaps they had slipped off into this alternate reality where they simply couldn't move on from each other, where they couldn't let each other go. He searched for meaning to it all as she searched for her underwear. For him it all still meant something, and for her nothing. She said goodbye as easily as she said hello, and he... well he masked his hurt with clever jokes and witty lines. He lay in bed next to her, neither speaking nor moving. He wanted desperately to hold her, but every time he tried to touch her his hands would simply go through her...as if he were literally grabbing at the past...trying to clench to it... The laughter sounded the same, the smiles looked familiar, and the inside jokes were still inside... and yet... nothing felt like the present...it was back t...

"Are we going to the party", she asked, knowing damn well she didn't want to go? "I don't know, do you want to go", he replied, knowing damn well he didn't want to go, and neither did she? She arched her butt into his pelvis and they spooned even closer. He squeezed his arms around her even tighter. The two lay nude under the covers as the sun set on a warm summer day. They both smelled like the waves of the beach they had spent the earlier part of the day relaxing and drinking at, enjoying silence. He kissed on her neck gently and could sense her slight smile on the other side. "We could go", he said. "Yeah, we could go", she also noted. But neither moved. It was as if there was a welcomed overwhelming force of gravity holding them down in that bed. He moved his hand and cupped her breast as she entangled her feet in his over and over again. Neither of them had even opened their eyes, as if there nothing to see. Their imaginations we...

He sat in his castle, with the view of the world, Yet all he could see were hazy visions of her face. He had climbed mountains and conquered the world, But alas, a King with no Queen in his space. He had built cities, caused civilizations to grow, Yet his bed was half empty and cold. Heavy is the head that bears the crown, For there is much more to this life, than gold. Many a caller did lust for his power, Quite a few had a love for his throne. But at the top of the mountain with the loveliest views, Sat the King high up and alone. They threw flowers at his feet as he walked, And the people all came out to cheer, And he searched the crowds with a smile, As he wondered if she was out there. They made arrangements for his love, As they tried to force his hand, But he could never say I do, To a woman who could not understand. Heavy is the head that bears the crown, With no Queen to help pick it up. Heavy is the heart that wonders alone, Drowning in the abyss o...