Last Man Standing: Being single when they are not

Something has started happening more and more recently, something that we all go through when you enter into the age group I now inhabit. People start getting married. Now that’s not a shocking thing really, I mean marriage has been around centuries. I knew what to expect when I got near this age, that my friends would start getting married. Hell, I thought I’d be right there with them. But something has happened that I didn’t really expect. Now that they are married, they expect you to hurry up and get married too.
            Misery, it seems, does love company. “Dave when you gonna settle down man, you a ho”. Whoa whoa whoa, when we were both single I was this awesome guy, and now that you have found “the one”, I’m this terrible guy? I mean, I get it. You wanna hang out with me, but you can’t. I can already hear her in your ear. “You know Dave is always out there with a bunch of girls, I don’t think you should be in that atmosphere”. Hahaha. But hey, she’s right. You probably should be at home with your wife or out with other married couples.
            It’s not that we don’t want to be friends; it’s just this big ass wall in between us, this great wall of China. On one side is Single, and on the other side is the land of the Married. And you really can’t straddle the fence on that wall, gotta pick your sides. It’s funny to watch really, one after the other crossing over the wall. You stand there happy to see them go, but the boyish renegade inside me wants my friend to jump the hell down and come back so we can go play. (no homo)            But the time keeps on ticking and the days and weeks fly by and I continue my pace to be the last man standing. The lone wolf. Maybe one day I’ll climb that great wall and find all my friends, my long lost and forgotten compadres…and we’ll hit an Applebee’s with our wives, complain about our lives then head home by 10pm to not have sex and wake up the next day to go to home depot for the next house project she came up with.