INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

No longer will I let her control me I swear it's over, I won't let her seduce me no more ready for closure. Until I get that text asking me if she can come over, I reply so damn fast I'm knocking everyhthing over. Can't wait for her to get here so I can make the same mistake over, Laying on top of me and I still wish she was closer, But as quickly as she came she right back out the door, Weeks go by and not a word, as if she doesn't need me no more, And I'm wondering what in the world she needs me for, Telling myself wake up, you don't need her no more. Sitting up at night with too much liqour in my system, That' when the demons creep into my thoughts with persistence, Why the hell would she wanna be with you, you nobody? In a city where everybody is paid and drive Bugatti, And you know when she not here she out there, All under some other guy she spending her nights there. I yell shut up, and so what, and I don't really give a fuc...

A father and son were riding in the car, To the House of Cheeks, for a drink at the bar The son was scrolling through I.G. with great lust, The father saw the phone, and said what the f*ck is this? He took the phone from his son and stared at the screen, Looked back at his son, his eyes looked so mean. I do not like these thirsty thots, I do not like their thirsty thoughts, I shall not like their thirsty pics, For all they do is tease the dick, I do not like to play their games , You come and go as if your running things, I would not sweat you in a bar, I would not sweat you in your car. I would not sweat you on the beach, I would not sweat you on the streets. Get away from me these thirsty thots, Trying to trap me with your thirsty shots, Your yoga pants and ill fitted tops, Pushing your boobies up to the top, Pictures you take in your draws for me to view With dumbass captions like, "what are you up to"? Clearly I'm looking at this picture of yo...

Standing on the platform of the subway waiting for my train to come, Watching the crowd move around me, everyone is on the run. Shades over my eyes, to help cover the lies, We avoid contact, no need for interaction in our lives. Took a seat next to a young brother dressed as a male nurse, He said "People always look at me like I should holding a purse". As if the thought was on his mind for sometime which he rehearsed. I said "the people don't know much, ignorance is a curse. Like you gotta sell dope, to be considered to be dope. Media thrives off destruction, no money in selling hope". He nodded his head and said, "My brother you deep, What do you do for a living, I like the way that you speak"? "I'm an assassin with words, a murderer with verbs, A gangster with the nouns, a criminal with a curse. Writing weekly blogs that hopefully shatter the earth, Exposing all that's real until they see my worth". ...

There was something about her...about her smile that captured me and held me hostage, immobilized. I found myself trying to pin point what made her smile so great. What made a smile like that I wondered? A nose, the eyes, the lips? How could a perfect stranger feel so familiar to look at? After all she was just that....perfect....and a stranger. Her hair, curly and light, fell around her face like golden brown leaves in a tree, falling gracefully from an early autumn breeze. She had a look about her that reminded me of Thanksgiving. Home cooked food, a mothers hug, and children playing in the yard. What made a smile like that? How could someone look so unselfish in a selfie. In all my life I don't believe I've ever had a truly "beautiful morning", but certainly this is what it looks like. She was a beautiful song, a perfect chemistry of sound and instrument. I kept trying to pin point what it was about her....and then I heard it...the song...it was Duke Ellington...

He sat nervously on the bench outside of baggage claim at the crowded airport watching people reunite with loved ones and friends. He wondered what his pending encounter would bring forth for him. A thousand questions were running through his mind to the like of, "what if she doesn't like the real me"? The real me. Until this point their entire relationship had been lived on the digital landscape of social media and video chats. How could he make her smile without the help of a well timed emoji? How could he make her laugh without the assistance of a sarcastic meme? He realized his entire personality was dependent upon the machines. Like Neo, lost in the matrix of computer love, he would simply have to believe he was the one. "What does it mean to like someone", he thought? "I like her pictures. I heart her selfies. I comment to her very existence, praising the sparkle in her eyes, the pucker of her lips, and the curls of her hair. What will she see when...

Tell me, what would you do, if everything that you do, Got one hundred million views, and they played it on the news? And people you don't even know, are now hating on your shoes, Selling lies as if they're truths, telling you, all about you. But you don't even mind, because you know from all of the views, Is the palace that you reside, with the overwhelming views, Where you take your sexy selfies and go post them for the views, And it don't matter if they hating, because once they look they lose, And club owner's start to pay you to come party with your crew, Yeah they wanna keep you drunk, celebration just for you. And you think you found that life, or rather the life found you. And you say you bout' that life, but that life ain't about you, And you addicted to the game, the glory of your fame, When people you don't even know are now in love with your name. And the thrill of being vain it goes directly into your vein, And now you so hig...

She said how could you do this to me? You told me that you loved me. You've probably just forgotten, You'd remember if you hugged me. And she standing there, Reaching her arms out for me to take her. But I told myself no more lies, I promised I wouldn't be a faker, So I stood there, The writer that couldn't come up with the words, And she just stared at me, Tears falling down hitting the earth. She was my first love, She was my first love, She was the type of girl you get, When you don't deserve love. Because you too young and dumb, So you desert love, Puppy love is such a dessert love, The sweetest you'll ever get on this earth love. The best kisses I ever got was from the worst love. She said what am I supposed to do, I changed my life for you? Where am I supposed to go, I drove all night for you? I changed my whole life plan, to be right with you? I even went out, and aborted life for you. Her words cut me so deep it's like a kn...