INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

It all happened so early She was fifteen years old Body developed quick Yeah she starting show Now everyday at school She be part of the show Rumors flying around Saying she ready to go Daughter to a single mother She was out of control Eyes just like her father She had part of his soul I guess that's a reason why She was hard to behold So instead, her role models and true idols Were reality stars with misleading titles If you wanna Kanye West Gotta play Kim Kardashian Building your empire Off every rapper you smash again Or at the very least You can get you a Wiz Car notes stay getting paid On behalf of your kid Promises on the TV Disguised as beautiful lies So she buys her a plane ticket And to the city she flies Now she in the club And she displaying her thighs Ball players getting caught up By the look in her eyes And she done learned real well With her hooks and her lies But she gotta drug problem Yeah she hooked to the night Coc...

Tell em' what you tired of son! I'm tired of that one guy in the gym who wears the same exact outfit every day. Are you washing that? Who works out every day and doesn't have at least two pairs of shorts.  I'm tired of having to say good morning to people when I walk in the office. I see you five times a week. I only see my mother once a year but I have to say good morning to you like every freaking day. I want to make a shirt that says Good Morning and just wear it to work every day and point at it. I'm tired of Facebook promoting items I search for on Google. I know you're stalking me Facebook. How else would you be advertising men's Speedos unless you knew I was pricing some?  I'm tired of people live broadcasting a television show via twitter and Facebook. Since when is it no longer good enough to just watch the damn show. Now you need to advertise every scene like I don't have a freaking TV too? Put your damn phone down...

Living in a city like Los Angeles, it can be tough being constantly surrounded by well to do people in flashy cars driving to their exotic homes. But one thing I have learned after years of not only living here, but surviving here, is that there is always a way to "fake it until you make it". And today I mean this specifically in reference to your living place. Ever hear the phrase, "Money doesn't buy style"? Well I have. And I've been to places that are plenty big and still plenty ugly. I once dated a girl and one thing I remember is her telling me how when she first came to my place she immediately thought, "I can see myself spending time here". It's important guys, you need to make the most of your space, and not only that, but being organized as well. So here are a few tips on how to make your respective place look nice even when you are dealing with the most limited of spaces. THINK HOTEL One of my favorite things about hotel ...

Here we go y'all.....time to die. HOUR 19: ONE ON ONE Now that I have my family all gathered in New Jersey, it's time to have a family picnic. It will be here that I challenge my older brother to one last one on one basketball game. I shall die defending my title as the best ball player in the house. It will be a legendary game. He will lose. HOUR 20: MOM Gotta spend some time with Mom and make sure she understands that I have traveled all over the world, and nobody, and I do mean nobody, makes potato salad better than you do woman. HOUR 21: WILL AND TESTAMENT Now the tough part, the lawyer going over my will. I want to be alive for this part so I can see the faces as my lawyer tells them the evil pranks I play on them lol. To my oldest brother, I leave you.... HOUR 22: ONE LAST BLOG This will be my truth blog, where I lay into all the people I don't like and make sure they know before I die. I'll also be making confession...

I almost fell in love,  yeah I almost made her mine We got so close, to being the most, but I almost every time. Almost said I love you, almost made it work. And I get so close to almost, then I always make you hurt Like I almost could be a good man, I almost could be true. But you over there, and I 'm over here, and almost just won't due. I almost made it big, yeah I almost reached the top But almost ain't doing the most, like you almost hit her spot. And we almost get it right, yeah we almost went all the way 23 hours of good love, and the last hour I throw it away. And we almost were a couple, yeah we almost were together But when you almost in love, then almost means never. We almost made up, and I almost apologized. I wrote you a love letter, then tore it up, and cried. I was almost man enough, only almost, but I tried. Maybe next time I wont be almost, and swallow all my pride. You can call me Mr. Almost, I'm Mr. In Between I'm not the o...

Okay, by now you should know what this is...so let me just summarize my last 12 hours. beat up youtube comment haters and trolls I robbed a bank I beat up VIP hosts in Vegas, then proceeded to throw the sickest pool party in the Bellagio fountain. Created 3 super babies The scientist, the Athlete, and the Singer. Banned the use of ghetto and ridiculous baby names for all of eternity. You're welcome. Learned how to fly a fighter jet Located my ancestral slave masters bloodline and slapped them. Set a Guinness World Record for consecutive high fives. Created a XXX rated rap video for my sons to bare witness to the glory of their father. It's been quite a wild ride for the first half of the end of my life. Now then, let's get back to dying. HOUR 13: SPIDERMAN Fresh off my vulgar rap video it's time I achieve some personal goals and dreams. Up first. I want to swing through the city of Manhattan like Spiderman. Naturally you are asking yourself how?...

There are two different worlds now in this modern era. There is the real world we live in, work in, go about our day to day, and there is the digital world. The world we live online via social media, online dating, etc. etc. And for some those two worlds  are somewhat similar, but for most those two are completely opposite lifestyles. Facebook, being the powerful social monster that it is, is inhabited by millions of people. And I believe I have targeted the 5 most annoying Facebook personas. THE PHOTO SLUT: 95% of your page are photo's. Photo's of you, photo's of what you are eating, photo's of where you are. You are obsessed with yourself, but more importantly, you are obsessed with people knowing you are obsessed with yourself. And to be clear, men are most certainly capable of being a photo slut. I know a few. OMG you're going to work on a Monday, like everybody else in America. Let me take a selfie of that. THE POLITICIAN: "An injustice...

I'm at the laundromat the other day, btw, why is laundromat spelled with an O...that's dumb... I mean you do LAUNDRY not LAUNDRO......but I digress....I'm at the laundry mat and I realize I didn't have any detergent. Dumb I know, so I run over to the corner store to grab some....nobody in the line to check out so I'm pushing...grab it turn around...and this old couple is shuffling into the line. I'm like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....I didn't feel like knocking em' over so I let them go first...they only have three items.. . They put their three items on the counter and then I see the old man pull a kid move and start staring at all the extra crap they have at the register. So he starts asking his old lady if they need random sh*t. "Do we have batteries?" "What"? "Do we have batteries?" "Yes". "What about Tylenol?" "Stop touching things, we don't need anything." <...

My dear first love, I wonder how you are, I think about you when I look up at the stars The way they sparkle shine so bright, reminds me of how you used to be shining my light, when I was doing wrong, you would help me do right, And when I was gone, you would wait up all night. You would never start fights, always being polite, Damn you look you good too, yo body so tight, And as I lay back in my bed and reminisce Who would ever think  I'd fall in love like this And truthfully, I know you heard about my reputation, He’s a player and he only want sexual relations, F*ck girls and leave em’ without an explanation, And I know there were a lot of other women hating, But you, see you would never pay them any mind And I know there were a lot of other guys spitting lines, And we were so good in the beginning, Felt  like a team and everyday we were winning But times got rough, and things got t...

Innocent Thoughts of a Guilty Man Presents:  24 hours to live Pt. 2: Hours 7-12 First, lets recap quickly my first 6 hours: Beat up youtube haters for 2 hours Rob a bank in hour 3 4,5, and 6 are in vegas beating up arrogant club hosts and security guards, and throwing a sick pool party. Now then, let's get into some nitty gritty. HOUR 7: I don't have a wife or a family, so it's important that I take time to secure my bloodline. Now I've thought about this long and hard and in order to increase my chances of having a dope ass kid, I shall pay 3 women to carry my seed. The Athlete: In particular a girl who is amazing in basketball, because we hoop in my family and I need to ensure the hoop gene goes on. The Scientist: Because scientist are always pictured as nerds, but my baby would be a sexy scientist. Awesome right. maybe he/she will cure cancer too. That would be nice, sexy cancer curing baby. The Singer: Everybody in my family can sing...

The office is a professional environment. It's a place of work and creativity. It's a politically correct plateau on which decency and good manners reside. But it's also a tough place to spend 8-12 hours and not go crazy. For most of us, music helps to get through the day. It soothes us when we read an angry email. It calms us when the phone just won't stop ringing.  However, it seems some find it harder than others to keep things appropriate at the office with their music selections, and few are just clueless. So, allow me to give you some clues. My friends, here are the my top 5 artists/genres that are not to be played out loud at work, and even with headphones on, be careful not to recite the lyrics! #5: HEAVY METAL And it's not that I hate this brand of music, but the loud guitars and high pitched screams can be a distraction in the work place. Not to mention the countless hours people waste once they can no longer fight the urge to bust out the air g...

It's finally come, your wedding day. A huge moment in any couples life. But for the guy's, we've been overlooked for far too long. I'm taking a stand damn it. Everything, everything about weddings is for the Bride. All we get is a (hopefully) wild bachelor party. Is that the only redemption we get for getting on one knee, confessing our love, and putting 3 months salary on her finger. Let alone the fact that we are pledging our lives to you ladies and vow not to have sex with any other hot chicks on earth. And this is an era where there's a new Kardashian chick turning 18 like every day. Not enough I say, not enough. I want more....I think it's time we got our special moment to shine....I think the Groom should be able to walk down the aisle too. That's right dag gon' it. I said it. We're starting a new trend. And to help solidify this movement....here are my top 5 songs for the groom to walk down the aisle. #itsourtimefellas #5: Jagged Ed...