ALL THAT'S LEFT

The most popular question that women asks me in bar type settings is "So why are you still single"? A loaded question for sure, but I usually make up some story about being focused on work, etc. etc. Truth is time just flies and before you know it your 30 and you haven't chosen anyone and no one has chosen you. Then you find yourself post 30 looking for love. Problem is, like my friend Drake once said in a song, "The good ones go, the good ones go, if you wait too long".  You are left with certain choices once you get into this area of life, and here is what I have come to experience.


#1: SHE HAS KIDS


Now for me, and probably like most men, I grew up saying I would never date a chick with kids. But trust me, turning 30 is the doorway to many changes in thoughts on your personal life. As a child of divorce and growing up with a stepfather, I know the role itself can be difficult and scary. It takes the right man and the right situation for it to work. I have since adjusted my no kids rule to one kid. I think I can handle one....maybe... I don't know. Yes.

#2: YOU'RE NOT THEIR FIRST CHOICE

Now this is the category I actually fall into. Some break ups are quick, and some are drawn out like an ugly divorce. But there are situations where relationships end even though two people love each other, but they need to end. I was victim to one of these and it took me years to recover. During those years I met plenty of qualified women who if I were in a better place, I could have been very happy with. But they simply weren't her. This goes both ways. You meet girls who simply aren't really over their ex. They may hide it for a few months or longer, but eventually, that skeleton in the closet gets too loud and pops out. If a woman has made it to 30 and is single, there is probably at least one Titanic of a love tragedy in her life.

#3: BABY TIME BOMB

A familiar feeling, is the baby time bomb. That is the tremendous pressure whether self placed or from parental's that is placed upon us once we stumble into our thirties still single. You meet women who say, "I definitely want to have a kid in the next 2 years", and although it sounds about right, it still sounds all the way scary. Panic to start to settle in that you will never have kids, and as a guy we get that and most of us have some of that panic as well. But just approach it with some ease please. Thank you.



*Innocent Thoughts of a Guilty Man*

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