INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

"Are we going to the party", she asked, knowing damn well she didn't want to go? "I don't know, do you want to go", he replied, knowing damn well he didn't want to go, and neither did she? She arched her butt into his pelvis and they spooned even closer. He squeezed his arms around her even tighter. The two lay nude under the covers as the sun set on a warm summer day. They both smelled like the waves of the beach they had spent the earlier part of the day relaxing and drinking at, enjoying silence. He kissed on her neck gently and could sense her slight smile on the other side. "We could go", he said. "Yeah, we could go", she also noted. But neither moved. It was as if there was a welcomed overwhelming force of gravity holding them down in that bed. He moved his hand and cupped her breast as she entangled her feet in his over and over again. Neither of them had even opened their eyes, as if there nothing to see. Their imaginations we...

He sat on the train questioning what he was doing, as if he really didn't know. He was making that all too familiar mistake again, his favorite mistake. He was on his way to see her. It had been some time since he’d last seen her, and the last encounter had not gone the way he had hoped. The irony of the Drake lyrics being hummed in his ear, "redemption's on your mind when you think about me", were all too haunting. True she was his favorite mistake, but perhaps, just perhaps, he was hers. A mistake they both would continually make until they got it right or finally gave up. He got off the train to the breezy chill of a spring afternoon by the beach. The air was filled with the voices of friends and family and lovers walking around. People smiling and laughing as if this one day, everyone got to be happy and perhaps he would too. He made his way through the crowds of people growing more nervous with every step closer towards their meeting point. "Be cool", ...

Me and all my friends we no fall in love, We just do the drugs and go out to the club. Wildin' in the Uber we might tear it up, We hunting for the girls who like to give it up. Macking in the bar you know how we do. And we like some local stars they all know my crew. What's up girl? What's your name? Where you from? What it do? Yeah I've had a couple drinks, okay I've had more than few. Summertime in L.A. it's summertime in the city And they wearing booty shorts and tank tops looking pretty Tight sundresses and sports bras it's a parade of tig o bitties And she smiling at your boy, yeah I think she wanna get with me. OMG OMG side boob falling out her shirt, LOL LOL all that ass that's in her skirt. I'm a have to go and flirt, I'm a have to put in work. I'm a buy a couple shots, let em know what I am worth. Let's go party at the crib, there's a party at the crib. Go and get them girls right there, we gon' show e...

Wake up in the morning hungover as fuck. Where am I at? Who am I with? Who is this chick? Damn she is thick. I hope that I hit, I can't remember shit. Where are my shades? Where is my phone? What time is it? I should get home. Flashbacks of last night race through my head. As I stumble to put my jeans on, Damn I'm still drunk as hell, I need something to lean on. I need to slow down, I'm out of control. But that's when I'm at best though. Cause when I show up the party goes up And they need me at my best, so Pour shots, four shots, Excuse me miss we need more shots, Good lord girl you thick as hell, Is that real or is that ass shots? Getting tagged in pictures I don't remember taking. Text messages to girls I don't remember meeting. Asking me what are we doing this evening? Treating Monday like it's part of the weekend. Like how much longer can I live this life? How much longer can I live these nights? I'm feeling like I ow...

It was a hot summer day in Miami, I can remember the day so clearly. Those Haitian cats were hating on me, Cause I was bagging everything that came near me. That's when I saw you walking out the water, You were heading right in my direction, So I said the first thing that I thought of, My God baby girl you perfection. You smiled at me and you laughed, A smile even now I'll never forget.  I said let's go for another swim, Don't dry off baby girl stay wet. She told her home girl she'd be back, As we walked away in the sand. As soon as our feet touched the water, We both reached for each other's hand. The alcohol got us intoxicated, The weather got us falling in love, The motion of the waves got us grinding, Everything in South Beach is such a drug. And you, you were all on my brain, I mean you were all in veins, All I could think of was you, And it would drive me insane. But eventually the vacation ended, And so we said our goodbye's...

The anticipation had been building in the last few days before we were all together again. It's amazing how quickly life goes by and how much you don't realize you miss in the lives of others. Facebook can never really keep you in touch with someone like a good conversation. And even in the dying age of personal communication, time well spent in person with a friend is still one of the more priceless things you can share. This trip, started like all the ones before, with handshakes and hugs, smiles and laughs, and the warming embrace of old friends as we arrived one by one into L.A.X. "How you been man", we asked as if we didn't chat everyday online? But to have a face to the words was comforting, to be able to see the happiness of their expression. We were a blessed group of friends who had the freedom to make a trip amongst all the crazy. After all that's what it's really about, being able to take the time away from it all, and take a moment to b...

Who you with? Who you been given your precious love? I hope you not with him just to pass the time like just because... Because I miss you but you know that I can't say it right...? And you just as stubborn so I know you gonna put up a fight. But I'm on your page looking at your pictures liking every post, And I know you see me watching you but you already made yo choice.. So I had no choice, had to step away and try to respect your space, But don't think for a second that I've forgotten about the beauty of your face, Because I wish that I could see you, and I wish that I could call, But my pride won't let me do it, no I'll never take that fall. Either you gonna reach out to me, or we just never gonna speak at all. I know you'll be good through the summer, but like temperatures you bound to fall. So, who you with? Who been given your precious time? I know he loves your body, but does he even appreciate your mind? Or recognize your grind, doe...

There was something about her...about her smile that captured me and held me hostage, immobilized. I found myself trying to pin point what made her smile so great. What made a smile like that I wondered? A nose, the eyes, the lips? How could a perfect stranger feel so familiar to look at? After all she was just that....perfect....and a stranger. Her hair, curly and light, fell around her face like golden brown leaves in a tree, falling gracefully from an early autumn breeze. She had a look about her that reminded me of Thanksgiving. Home cooked food, a mothers hug, and children playing in the yard. What made a smile like that? How could someone look so unselfish in a selfie. In all my life I don't believe I've ever had a truly "beautiful morning", but certainly this is what it looks like. She was a beautiful song, a perfect chemistry of sound and instrument. I kept trying to pin point what it was about her....and then I heard it...the song...it was Duke Ellington...

The gyms across america are packed, the parks are full of people running, and the yoga classes seem a bit fuller......ahhhhh, summer is upon us once again. A staple of the summer fun is always a trip to the beach. But how much fun you have at the beach is determined by what you do prior to getting there. Preparation is key. Here are a few tips to make your beach day a blast. TAKE COVER: Thanks to the power of the internet there are so many options for finding what you need at a reasonable price. Having a cool tent not only provides a place for shade, but it's a central gathering place for your friends to lay back after running around in the water, and for the bachelors, it's a welcoming hut to the ladies you just met. While everybody else is overpaying for umbrellas you rent per hour, you can be like, "hey, why don't you kick it in our tent"? BE THE COOLEST: I remember the struggle of lugging beach chairs, your radio, toys, etc. through ...

The gyms across america are packed, the parks are full of people running, and the yoga classes seem a bit fuller......ahhhhh, summer is upon us once again. A staple of the summer fun is always a trip to the beach. Living in Los Angeles, beach life is a big part of my summer life, and you see all kinds of people in all different fashions. There are things I hate, and there are things I like....so here is a few thoughts for the ladies to consider when getting beach ready. THE DO'S: KNOW YOUR FIT: When it comes to bikini's a lot of time I think that women believe "Less is More". But I can't agree with that. Just because there is more of you hanging out does not mean we find you more attractive. An ill fitting bikini is just as much a turn off as a girl who can't walk in high heels properly. It's a thin line between sexy and slutty, and those who know their fits are best equipped to walk this line with swagger and grace. THE ONE PIECE: The...

The gyms across America are packed, the parks are full of people running, and the yoga classes seem a bit fuller......ahhhhh, summer is upon us once again. A staple of summer fun is always a trip to the beach. Living in Los Angeles, beach life is a big part of my summer life, and you see all kinds of people in all different fashions. There are things I hate, and there are things I like....so here is a few thoughts for the fellas to consider when getting beach ready. THE DO'S: PLAID IT UP:    Depending on what you're beach plans are, I love plaid trunks. Because you can go from frolicking in the ocean waves, to throwing on your tank top and popping into a beach side bar for a drink or five. These are your multipurpose shorts for when you're up for whatever on a Sunday Funday. GIVE EM' SOME COLOR: As a guy it's hard not to get trapped in the mindset of solid colors and being incredibly plain. Don't be timid dude, stand out, shine. Color...

SPRING: Purple leaves on twisting trees line the quiet streets, The dewy air of the country side puts my mind at ease She's right here, by my side, it's early and still she sleeps, The sound of the road mimics my heart the pavement steadily beats Orange skies and yellow birds bring my love awake A lovers smile is a thousand words no artist could ever paint. SUMMER: Summer sunsets blaze the sky and burns it radiant glow, As cooler breezes move through the night, at sight of moon’s first show Palm trees dancing in the wind, the water reflects the sky As stars dance in the endless pool, bidding the sun goodnight. The clouds look soft as pillows on which the angels sleep. The sand shall be our bed tonight our clothes to make our sheets. FALL: The stars are out tonight, as I gaze up towards the sky, And I wonder if you are out there, staring into the night... I wonder if I'm on your mind, though I doubt that I...