INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

He was young and dumb. The most cliché of all cliche's, and yet the honest reality of who he was then. In fact, they were both young and dumb, but isn’t that when love is the best? A young and dumb love, with all of its fullness and richness; its flames not dampened down by the wet hurricane winds of what can only be described as adulthood. It was as pure and simple as the phrase, “boy meets girl”. But boy breaks girl’s heart, into many, many pieces, as boys often do at that age. It hurts him to see her now, all grown up, living a life he plays no part in, in a world he does not exist. He looks into her eyes and he sees his younger self, the silly, idiotic boy with the charming smile and best of intentions. She reminds him of Friday night lights and heavy schoolbooks, of crowded hallways and movie make out sessions. She reminds him of a pureness he had, long, long ago, before the world got to him. Holding her child he can’t help but wonder, who he would have been, who they would h...

Two grown men in their thirties at the bar having a drink, They both sip in silence, taking their time to think. Cause they haven't spoke in so long that they don't wanna speak wrong, So they take the time to reminisce, but they also move on. It's important to comment on the more current topics, Like why they both still single and they both haven't stopped it, The games, the lies, the mornings, the nights, The one's that got played when players doing it right. What about old girl that you used to really like? What happened to her I remember you was chatting with her every night? We were, we are, we was, I mean you know how we does, I mean you know about us, I mean you know about love. One minute you fucking, the next minute you fucked. Especially when there ain't any level of trust. And plus, shorty got kids and I ain't ready for that role, Some step dad, no I ain't ready for that though. So I had to step yo, cause I a...

When she left me, she left me with this memory book, A collection of happiness clothed in love. I torture myself, and peek at how the memories look, She said she made it for me, for me to remember us. It sits in the bottom of my closet, All covered in dirt and clothes, And I wish that I could simply disregard it, A simple task it should be, I know. And yet it stays, in the corner of dark places, The picture of it reminds me of an Edgar Allen Poe Poem. It was like her "Tell Tale Heart" was in the pages, And I could hear it beating while I'm sleeping alone. I've managed to throw it in the trash before, Only to see it escape. While scrounging through my closet floor, I find it back in it's space. How did you get back in here memory book, I swear that I threw you away? Do the lovelorn sleepwalk through the night, Longing for the love of yesterday? I take a trip down memory lane, A wonderfully painful trip. Looking at pictures of happy ghost, W...

I been drinking, I been drinking, And that turns into thinking, yeah I've been thinking, Now I'm all up in my feelings, yeah I can feel em' Online looking at her pictures, damn I should steal em' Jealousy all in my veins, wait what's my problem I be doing the same thing, maybe that's my problem Cause while I'm on your Instagram, staring at your pictures, I'm all up at this bar, pouring another pitcher Women all around me, asking me my name, They say like my style, they say they like my frame, Had you as my screen saver, but I had to switch it Because pretty girls with pretty curls give me their digits Get my picture back up there, yeah I'm too conceited Feed me more compliments, baby yeah I need it... I've been drinking, I been drinking And I've had one too many, now I've been thinking Why the f*ck are we not together spending all our weekends We can do it through the night just so we can sleep in, Who the hell is...

One of the sweetest things to hear and the hardest things to say Is saying that I miss you, because it means you've went away Saying that I miss you meaning I wish that you could stay Knowing that I miss you, means I've missed another day. I miss you, that there is an issue,  Right there is some tissue, each tear is a missile, she killing me Tell me are you feeling me, with out even feeling me Can you get the real of me, can you see the realer me Can it be reality, or is this fatality, Body blows with every emoji that winks and smiles at me Trying not to kill the messenger, she killing me on messenger Waking up to the sound of the ring all on my messenger I'll return the favor my queen, like I owe a debt to ya' Coldest winters in New York, I know every brother sweatin' her Regularly I'm Skyping her, my older brother hyping her, My momma even liking her, boys saying there's a wife in her And I miss you, hate saying I miss you, That there ...

I almost fell in love,  yeah I almost made her mine We got so close, to being the most, but I almost every time. Almost said I love you, almost made it work. And I get so close to almost, then I always make you hurt Like I almost could be a good man, I almost could be true. But you over there, and I 'm over here, and almost just won't due. I almost made it big, yeah I almost reached the top But almost ain't doing the most, like you almost hit her spot. And we almost get it right, yeah we almost went all the way 23 hours of good love, and the last hour I throw it away. And we almost were a couple, yeah we almost were together But when you almost in love, then almost means never. We almost made up, and I almost apologized. I wrote you a love letter, then tore it up, and cried. I was almost man enough, only almost, but I tried. Maybe next time I wont be almost, and swallow all my pride. You can call me Mr. Almost, I'm Mr. In Between I'm not the o...

My dear first love, I wonder how you are, I think about you when I look up at the stars The way they sparkle shine so bright, reminds me of how you used to be shining my light, when I was doing wrong, you would help me do right, And when I was gone, you would wait up all night. You would never start fights, always being polite, Damn you look you good too, yo body so tight, And as I lay back in my bed and reminisce Who would ever think  I'd fall in love like this And truthfully, I know you heard about my reputation, He’s a player and he only want sexual relations, F*ck girls and leave em’ without an explanation, And I know there were a lot of other women hating, But you, see you would never pay them any mind And I know there were a lot of other guys spitting lines, And we were so good in the beginning, Felt  like a team and everyday we were winning But times got rough, and things got t...

I should’ve tried harder, I should’ve tried to make you a part of my world I should’ve made it clear, I should’ve made you my girl I should’ve of asked you to stay, I should’ve told you not to leave. I should’ve acted better, I should’ve been the man you needed me to be. I should’ve held you a little tighter, I should’ve kissed you a little more I should’ve been there when you needed me, I should’ve never let your feet hit the floor I should’ve said I love you, I should’ve told you the truth. I should’ve listened when you spoke , I should’ve talked to you. I should’ve looked you in the eyes, I should’ve kept you close. I should’ve kept it real, I should’ve loved you the most I could’ve of shown you the world, I could’ve made you smile. I could’ve been your world, I could’ve raised our child. I could’ve spoiled you with you love, I could’ve held your hand. I could’ve made you happy, I could’ve made things grand. I could’ve of stood by your side,...

Almost three years ago exactly I wrote an article titled, "You Say He's Just a Friend", in which I highlighted the 3 reasons why a guy would be a women's friend. (see link below). Those three reasons were; He wants to hit it He's Gay The Homie Clause Revolutionary stuff I know...but a recent internet discussion has thrusted the topic back into my life and I feel the need to present new information. First I told you why a guy wants to be your friend, but it now seems important for me to explain to the ladies why we don't our woman to have guy friends. So from the mind of a man, here are the top three reasons why we don't care for chicks with male friends. THE BACK UP HITTER: When it comes men and male egos, nothing sets us off more than the thought of our girl having sex with someone else. And our first duty is to remove all possible threats to the poo-tang. Now you meet a beautiful chick and you've started dating and you fi...