INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

"Are we going to the party", she asked, knowing damn well she didn't want to go? "I don't know, do you want to go", he replied, knowing damn well he didn't want to go, and neither did she? She arched her butt into his pelvis and they spooned even closer. He squeezed his arms around her even tighter. The two lay nude under the covers as the sun set on a warm summer day. They both smelled like the waves of the beach they had spent the earlier part of the day relaxing and drinking at, enjoying silence. He kissed on her neck gently and could sense her slight smile on the other side. "We could go", he said. "Yeah, we could go", she also noted. But neither moved. It was as if there was a welcomed overwhelming force of gravity holding them down in that bed. He moved his hand and cupped her breast as she entangled her feet in his over and over again. Neither of them had even opened their eyes, as if there nothing to see. Their imaginations we...

It's not you it's me he said, As he wiped the tears from his eyes. I keep repeating the same mistakes he said, It's high time I realized. That this won't work, this won't do, It's always me, it's never you. I see the clues, where are my shoes? It's time that I left, I think I should move, Cause we just go round n' round ' round n' round You pick me up, you put me down. And I act just like a child, No I can't be your baby now. Cause I don't feel like a man when I'm with you, I don't like who I am when I'm with you, And it's not you it's me, I don't mean to come off disrespectful. It's just I know now what the problem is, And the problem is us being we. I've been fighting for us to be together, But that's just not meant to be. So let me say good bye to you, Let's share a cry or two And when they ask what happened, You can say it's me, it's not you.

The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting colder, telling myself it's over... Summer time is over, and only having her some of the time, I need that to be over, I think I should be closer, she wants me to move closer, so maybe I can come over, I just want time to hold her, lay her head on my shoulder, let her know what it's like to fall in love with a soldier. I'm a confident man, I know who I am, but her eyes always make me weak, Should I change who I am, just to hold her hand, or do I just go on being me? What do you mean? I mean what do you mean? You mean continue being mean? Savage lifestyle in these streets being catered by women that you know you don't even need? I mean that's what they expect you to be, expectations you can't seem to exceed, Because you pretend that you don't wanna stop, but there's so much more that you really need. They say fake it until you make it, well we can't afford to fake it, and I don't...

Liquid courage pushed us further into deeper conversations, We talking bout' love and our past situations. The love and the hating, and how we hate dating, Except how we love when we got em' all hating. Facebook notifications, Saying that you are now in relations, And all your side chicks and old flicks. Slide in your inbox with fake congratulations. That standard L.A. sh*t, Sorry I'm busy and show up all late sh*t, Or more likely flake sh*t, Text them and not get a text back for a couple of days sh*t. Ain't nobody got time for that, Ain't nobody trying to hit you back, That's when we order a couple more shots, And knocked em both down going back to back. Patron mixed with emotions, That seems to be the popular potion, Now you all lost in your feelings, Alcohol got you both open. What is love? What does it mean to you? Have you thought about it? Do you dream it too? Could your dreams come true? Does she dream of you? Dreams turn into nig...

I been drinking, I been drinking, And that turns into thinking, yeah I've been thinking, Now I'm all up in my feelings, yeah I can feel em' Online looking at her pictures, damn I should steal em' Jealousy all in my veins, wait what's my problem I be doing the same thing, maybe that's my problem Cause while I'm on your Instagram, staring at your pictures, I'm all up at this bar, pouring another pitcher Women all around me, asking me my name, They say like my style, they say they like my frame, Had you as my screen saver, but I had to switch it Because pretty girls with pretty curls give me their digits Get my picture back up there, yeah I'm too conceited Feed me more compliments, baby yeah I need it... I've been drinking, I been drinking And I've had one too many, now I've been thinking Why the f*ck are we not together spending all our weekends We can do it through the night just so we can sleep in, Who the hell is...