So I'm on this dating site, perusing through the hundreds of pictures, bouncing from profile to profile. The one thing I notice, is the answer to the question 'FIRST DATE', is very often "Anything but Dinner and a Movie". Now I have a problem with that, because a relationship is like 85% dinner and a movie. What better way to find out if you like a person? Let me explain.

I've been in a few serious relationships, like I'm sure most of you have, and sure, there are lots of things that happen within the span of courtship; Vacations, parties, festivals, etc. etc. All fun things you guys do together. But those are like once every other month right? The majority of the relationship is you guys eating a meal together and watching Television, Netflix, and or a movie.

You ask a married person, hey what'd you and the wife get into over the weekend? "Oh we just relaxed, laid around the house, watched movies". Finally got a babysitter, gonna take the wife out....where you gonna go? To dinner right? Maybe a movie? I mean it's just the nature of relationships. Why in the hell do I need to take you hiking on a first date? I don't even like hiking. I might do it like once a month with you if I really like you, but you know how I'm gonna know that? If we like the same food and same types of movies lol.

My best relationships were with girls who loved Chinese food and had a deep appreciation of The Martin Show, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and an extreme appreciation of The Chappelle Show and all his humor. If you like swimming, and going to the gym that's awesome too. Even better, but I need to make sure we have a good dinner and movie chemistry going on before I can consider getting serious with you, I'm sorry.

The only other logical first date scenario would be to have a long day at Home Depot together picking out color samples and new blinds. Maybe grab a shelf or something and then go to her house and build something. I mean seriously, that would really be a good first date. Tell a girl you want to come over to her house and just do chores, take out the trash, and perhaps some light gardening. If you can do that and at the end of it not wanna kill each other and she didn't yell at you the whole time telling you you're doing it wrong, than I say get married. Why wait? It's either that or go to Ikea. Cause if we don't have the same taste in furniture, i'm not even interested anyway. Yeah, I said it.


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