INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

I've grown up and lived in many different states and areas. Born in New Jersey before moving to the Midwest of Oklahoma, and then moved again to the southern part of America in Florida, and once more further into the south of North Carolina. Now a resident of Los Angeles, California, I can honestly say I can't stand the south. My family still lives in North Carolina and I can't even stand going home. The last time I was there my best friend and I walked around the downtown area of Raleigh and it's as if we were in one mind when I said, " You know, I haven't felt like a nigga in a long time, until we got here". He smiled at me and said, "yeah, welcome home to the south". Now I don't know if it's trucks with confederate flags driving down country roads, or white boys in camouflage hunting hats chewing tobacco, but there is this unspoken essence in the air that wreaks of slavery. It's the way you are looked at that is so different.

When she left me, she left me with this memory book, A collection of happiness clothed in love. I torture myself, and peek at how the memories look, She said she made it for me, for me to remember us. It sits in the bottom of my closet, All covered in dirt and clothes, And I wish that I could simply disregard it, A simple task it should be, I know. And yet it stays, in the corner of dark places, The picture of it reminds me of an Edgar Allen Poe Poem. It was like her "Tell Tale Heart" was in the pages, And I could hear it beating while I'm sleeping alone. I've managed to throw it in the trash before, Only to see it escape. While scrounging through my closet floor, I find it back in it's space. How did you get back in here memory book, I swear that I threw you away? Do the lovelorn sleepwalk through the night, Longing for the love of yesterday? I take a trip down memory lane, A wonderfully painful trip. Looking at pictures of happy ghost, W

Poor girl, she never really stood a chance, She grew up on movies centered around romance Waiting for her Prince Charming like Cinderella, I guess nobody ever had the heart to really tell her, In the mirror in her white dress covered in lace Sparkly tiara on her head and smile all on her face A young girl believing one day she'd get her glass slipper, Fairy Godmother using her magic to help deliver So every night she sleeps soundly like Snow White, She's already dated seven Dwarfs, the next guy better be right So it's high ho high ho off to work a young lady goes Riding through the poisonous Big Apple with all her woes Staring in her rear view mirror mirror on the wall, Look at all these good for nothing thirsty dudes on my wall She's drowning in loneliness, she's way too far under the sea Poor Ariel there's way too many fish out there to see Love is tough and she need help just to get on her feet The world trying to silence your voice, she

She's in love with the summer, They call it summer love, She always single in the summer, No need to cuddle up Cause she can sleep with the heat, Get a kiss from the breeze, There's no worry about her heart, When you don't have to wear sleeves So it's only crop tops in drop tops, Short short's and flip flops, Day parties on roof tops, Old school R&B and hip hop She hip hops through every man heart she passes by, Killing em each softly, with the batting of her eyes Cause she knows the summer will caress her, Just look how the sun dressed her, She's a diamond in the sand, d esigned by heat and pressure The clarity of her cut, is flawless beyond measure So it's only vacations in Tahiti, Dirty Grey Goose Martini's, Scandalous bikini's, And selfies under palm trees And there's nothing you can do, But let her have her fun Because she's in love with the summer And you lost her to the sun.  *Innocent Thought

The most popular question that women asks me in bar type settings is "So why are you still single"? A loaded question for sure, but I usually make up some story about being focused on work, etc. etc. Truth is time just flies and before you know it your 30 and you haven't chosen anyone and no one has chosen you. Then you find yourself post 30 looking for love. Problem is, like my friend Drake once said in a song, "The good ones go, the good ones go, if you wait too long".  You are left with certain choices once you get into this area of life, and here is what I have come to experience. #1: SHE HAS KIDS Now for me, and probably like most men, I grew up saying I would never date a chick with kids. But trust me, turning 30 is the doorway to many changes in thoughts on your personal life. As a child of divorce and growing up with a stepfather, I know the role itself can be difficult and scary. It takes the right man and the right situation for it to work. I h

She's the first one on my mind when I wake up, I wake right up, to say what's up She says what's up, I say not much, Just got up, she says that's what's up I'm about to hop in this shower and get ready for work She say she wish she could hop in there with me and give me that work She makes me laugh, but it makes me sad,  Cause I know that ain't gon' work Cause I can never be where she at, And that loneliness it hurts She say I can't with you I say I can't with you either But I wake up everyday  With the thought that I can't leave her Cause I need her, what would I do without her She's always on mind, she takes up every hour Daydreaming about her, as I let the water hit my skin I can hear the bathroom door open, you trying to sneak in So I stay still, and she wraps her arms around me We stand in silence and let the water surround me Willingly drowning, this is as peaceful as it gets These are the

Growing up in the suburbs you would think it would be really nice. Pretty homes, green grass, neighborhood cookouts. But not if you lived in my suburb. Not that it wasn't nice, it was, accept for me and my friends. We terrorized the neighborhood. And even now as a responsible adult, I reflect on my earlier years as a menace to society as I share three of my favorite stories of juvenile delinquency. KNOCK KNOCK: One of our favorite things to do I believe is an american classic for adolescent boys. The knock and run. You know, sneak out the house after midnight and go around the neighborhood knocking on doors and running. But one night we got bored with the ordinary routine, so we got a bit bolder. We were gonna knock on doors and then run and hide across the street in the bushes and watch what happened. No longer would we run away and miss out on the reaction. So my it's my buddies turn to knock and we all hide as he goes over, bangs on the door, and hauls ass back t

I always have questions that I rarely ask and or get biased answers...so I thought what better way to get a wide variety of answers then to have a blog post asking and hope for the fans and followers to respond. So here we go. 1.      How many views a day on somebodies Facebook page qualifies you as a stalker? Like if you stay under 3 are you okay? 2.      If you are in the gym and a girl has on those black tights, but she bought the cheap ones and all her underwear is showing....do you tell her or do you just let her walk around ass out? 3.      How many selfies a day is acceptable before you hit selfie slut mode? 4.      How many chucks would a ….wait….is a Wood Chuck real? Or is that a made up animal like a unicorn, or a Liger? 5.      Is there still such a thing as commitment and true love anymore? Or are we pretty much just in the era of the sidechick and everybody is now willing to accept polygamy? 6.      I was in a restaurant and went into the restr

          I'm about to do something that can really get you in trouble in these modern times, I'm going to speak my mind. (the crowd gasps). As the entire world knows by now Bruce Jenner decided he wanted to be a woman and recently revealed Caitlin Jenner to the world. And honestly, I don't care. You wanna be a woman, cool, whatever, you not paying any of my bills so I fail to really care and or want to be involved in such activity. What does bother me is the media driven peer pressure to be okay with a man wanting to be a woman. Being tolerant is important, and it is needed, but being tolerant of something, and being okay with something are two completely different things.          Now I'm basing this off personal experience and observation, but it seems there is this attitude that if you don't support this kind of lifestyle than you are a bigot of some kind or close minded or homophobic. I find that a bit dismissive. There are plenty of people I know who have

I been drinking, I been drinking, And that turns into thinking, yeah I've been thinking, Now I'm all up in my feelings, yeah I can feel em' Online looking at her pictures, damn I should steal em' Jealousy all in my veins, wait what's my problem I be doing the same thing, maybe that's my problem Cause while I'm on your Instagram, staring at your pictures, I'm all up at this bar, pouring another pitcher Women all around me, asking me my name, They say like my style, they say they like my frame, Had you as my screen saver, but I had to switch it Because pretty girls with pretty curls give me their digits Get my picture back up there, yeah I'm too conceited Feed me more compliments, baby yeah I need it... I've been drinking, I been drinking And I've had one too many, now I've been thinking Why the f*ck are we not together spending all our weekends We can do it through the night just so we can sleep in, Who the hell is

            Remember when love used to be easy? Like kiddy love. Kiddy love was the best. You'd see a pretty girl on the playground and she had on blue shirt and blue was your favorite color so you liked her. And you would go speak to her and by the end of recess that was your girlfriend. You guys go together now. And your buddies would ask you, "why do you like Tiffany"? And you'd respond, "her hair looks good in a ponytail". And they'd all agree with you and that was love. Now it's like you say you like a girl and there are sooo many boxes to check off. Does she have a job, what are her goals, did she go to college, what is her stance on gun control, is she a democrat or a republican? And I'm still over here in kiddy mode like, "I don't know, but she looks great in a sundress".       My issue is that I always pick the most difficult situations to try in fall in love. Whether the person is emotionally unavailable or the ph