A King's Home

While a student in college, living in the dorm’s taught me one very important thing. The kind of girl’s I were interested in, were not interested in having sex on a twin size bed that doubled as storage.  By the time freshman year ended, I already had formed my escape. Thinking back on my first apartment I can smile and laugh. It was a modest attempt really for a 19 year old guy who didn’t even know what the hell a “thread count” meant. With a Safari “all in one” bed set from Target, some candles and wall sconces, and a theme matching bathroom, and I was in business. As sad as they may sound, business was good. I was still more advanced than any guy I knew, my roommate included, who would often ask for my advice for his own room.  In contrast to most male students with their all black everything design, together, we had one of the more advanced apartments around.  It was that apartment that sent me walking proudly towards the man I am today.  

As I was out this past Saturday night with a good friend of mine, we passed by some younger guys, most likely in college, and over heard one of them say, “We gotta get some girls back to the crib”. I laughed inside as I watched them walk away.  For two reasons mainly, one, they were wearing those ridiculous skinny jeans that sag in the back;  and two, I used to be just like them.  But let’s be honest…..Boys have cribs, men have homes.  There comes a time when we all need to grow up fellas, and here are a few tips to help you turn your “crib” into a respectable home. As I see it, there are three major areas that count towards having a place where a respectable lady will feel comfortable. 

  • THE KITCHEN:
    • The plastic forks and two plates and cups that you took from your mom’s house have to go guys. You don’t have to get the 64 piece plate set, but you should definitely have enough plates and cups that you don’t have to wash them every time she comes over or you have guest.
    • Wine glasses….why? Because women like wine dummy.
    • Lastly, organization. Have a rhythm and rhyme to how your kitchen appears. Style things in certain places and keep them neat. It will be appreciated, trust me.


  • THE COUCH:
    • The old couch you bought at a garage sale back in freshman year. The one you’ve had countless parties where drinks were spilled, cigarettes ashed out, and drunk sex occurred will need to go. I know it’s tough, so many memories. Take a picture, and get rid of the couch. You don’t have to go all out with a full furniture set, but there are plenty of places to get a smart couch that doesn’t smell like a frat house. Seating is important.
    • Don’t be afraid to throw in some pillows on there either, perhaps a nice, throw blanket. Don’t go too wild with the colors though, do some research, figure out your pattern scheme, and set it up right.


  • THE BATHROOM:
    • Why do you still only have one “good towel”? Or do you have two towels that are different colors, and nothing in your bathroom matches? Stop that. Having a nice bathroom is a good way to ensure she decides to come back over. Matching towels, shower curtain, perhaps a bath rug…these are all good things. Oh yeah, stop buying toilet paper one roll at a time.
    • Always have more than one roll of toilet paper. One roll means go get more! It’s the one thing you don’t want to be out of with an overnight guest!
    • Hand soap. I know men, we don’t wash our hands all the time and hand soap may sound crazy…but ladies love that mess. Best to get with it and have it out on the sink for use.

A common misconception is that one need’s to be rich in order to appropriately furnish their apartment. Not true. Besides, I’m sure we’ve all seen some rich people with incredibly poor designed homes before. Creativity is key and determination will be necessary. After four years of Ramen noodles and PB&J sandwiches in undergrad, I was well prepared on how to furnish my apartment on a shoestring budget. Now you must understand, I come from a home of professional yard sale shoppers. My mother and grandmother would rise early every Saturday as if it were the day after Thanksgiving just to get to the best yards first. I promise you they knew the wealthiest zip codes in the city and started there first. So I managed to furnish much of my first apartment after graduating college thanks to the tutelage of my elders, the Yoda and Obi Wan of yard sales, if you will.


Another poor decision men make is in a lack of balance in their home. For example, you have an expensive 60 inch TV and surround sound system but you have a raggedy couch, dollar tree towels in your bathroom, and a mattress that just sits on the floor. What’s up with that? Truth be told, chicks don’t really care too much about the size of the TV. You could have got that good old 42 inch and put the rest of that money into the other rooms. Be smart, spread the wealth.


Bottom line, every woman wants to be treated like a Queen. Well guess who gets a queen, that’s right, a King. And every King needs his castle. So get to building out there guys; Remember to be creative, add a splash of your personality in there, and take care of the bathroom.  To quote a popular line from the movie “Field of Dreams”, “If you build it, they will come”.






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