I had read an article explaining that in life, you only get three true loves, and that each love was for a specific reason. It made me wonder, just how many loves I had really had. Oddly enough, it was three. The first love, like many, was my high school sweetheart. "She's the type of girl a guy meets when he's too young and has too much living to do", to quote a favorite TV show of mine. Ironically this love is called our first love, pure and innocent. Ironically, it is also the first girl I probably really ever ruined. Not to say I made her a bad person, but I most definitely shattered her illusions of love and or tainted the very purity of what a first love symbolizes. Our love was easy to manage when our world was small, confined to the hallways of our sacred high school and kept safe from the outside evils that would influence change. Sadly, those walls can't protect you forever, and as we grew, so did the circle in which we resided, and slowly but surely, the temptation that lurked behind the walls finally found its way inside, ruining me, and thus, ruining us.

The second love was described as a "hard love", and my immediate reaction to that is an old fashioned southern baptist "AMEN". The love where you are determined to do things differently, unaware that you never really change, but the circumstances of love do. If my first love was pure, this love lust, but don't let that make you feel like it was tainted or less real, if anything it was more powerful. The kind of love you put you're all into because a second failure seems like it might destroy the very fabric of your being. You've told yourself that if you increase your efforts, the results will be different. But a hard love has a hard ending. This one more brutal then any other. The possibility of forever seemed more real then before with this love, a true possibility. And the destruction of that second love, makes the third seem impossible.

But, time heals and eventually you find your third love. This is the love they describe as one that "surprises us" and is "uncomplicated and is not filled with complications" The one that comes out of nowhere. I remember that, the third love, she too came out of nowhere. Unexpected and overwhelming. A love that seemed effortless, it existed because it was meant to exist it seems. She was the mature love I had hoped for, but didn't yet deserve until I had been through what I needed to go through to handle the experience. But my questions is, if the third love ends, what do you do next. And this is the world I live in, out of loves, out of chances, and out of luck. Like three wishes, I used all my love up, and no genie in any lamp, will ever appear for me again.


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