Mrs. Jones: The truth about the sidepiece.


A few months ago an acquaintance of mine asked me if I could write about “the sidepiece”. She was going through a situation where she was the “mistress” of this man’s relationship. So I’m going to finally break down the situation and explain it from my point of view. As usual, I’m a little more straight forward than most.


  1. What is a sidepiece?
    1. Pimpster’s dictionary defines a “sidepiece” as a piece of ass. A woman or man who is not the main character in another person’s love story. This individual usually only serves a sexual purpose to the relationship and often is not called upon and or communicated with unless needed to perform his or her sexual duty.
    2. A sidepiece has no authority in the relationship and no privileges other than sexual. They provide a service.

There are many reasons why someone attains a sidepiece. None of the good reasons, but they are reasons nonetheless. The relationship is failing, they are not satisfied, or plain boredom.  There are two roles in this dance of cheating, let’s examine both.

  1. Know your role:
    1. The Sidepiece.
                                                    i.          Far too often the sidepiece enters into the situation with the belief that she can one day become his “main chick”. This is the furthest thing from the truth. 99% of the time you will not end up winning him/her. Because you were never perceived to fit that role in the beginning.
                                                  ii.          Think of it in terms of a sport. You wouldn’t draft Rajon Rondo to be your starting center would you? No. he’s not a center, he is a point guard. You bring him on as a point guard, and you expect him to play his position. Same applies here, you are the side piece, it is an unspoken agreement and by taking part in this sexual act, you are signing a non verbal contract to perform your duties until dismissed.
    1. The Cheat
                                                    i.          Don’t try to sugarcoat the truth about the cheater. Don’t tell yourself, he/she is just unhappy and doesn’t want to be with her. Because you are only lying to yourself. They are fully aware of what they are doing the circumstances of their actions. If anything, the cheater is the more sane person, because they are thinking logically and planning their steps.
                                                  ii.          Anytime I have had a girl on the side there has always been one consistent factor. I lie. I lie my ass off. Whatever I need to tell you so that you don’t feel bad about sleeping with me knowing I have a girlfriend is what I’m going to tell you. That’s the mindset of the cheater. And if he is willing to lie and cheat on his main chick, he will only treat you the same, but more than likely worse, because hell, you are replaceable. You may tell yourself you got the bomb loving and your pussy is the shit. But here is a new flash for you. While Penises come in many sizes and shapes…vagina’s generally stay the same. Which means your vagina is not special. Which makes it easy to replace you. So no matter how well you think you are putting it on him, it does not matter.

I know that probably shocked the hell out of somebody, so I will give you a chance to regroup…………..ok? Let’s go on.

Now I don’t mean to sound coldblooded. Not completely anyway. I have once been the sidepiece, and there is really only two ways this situation ends, and both are bad.

  1. When it’s over:
    1. You get caught: The most common way for a good affair to end is when somebody gets caught. Either the person stays with their main person, or their relationship ends because of this.
    2. But no, that does not mean he wants to be with you.
                                                    i.          His natural attraction and reason to be with you was because it was exciting and dangerous to have a side piece. the whole thrill of it all.
                                                  ii.          Why would he want a constant reminder of why his relationship failed and how he f*cked it up? When his relationship ends, your job is over too.

Look, don’t feel bad. Own the moment and just know your role. Don’t get caught up in it. If you are going to be that chick or dude, stay grounded in the reality. Because it’s likely going to end. Wishing you all you cheating hoes the best.

David Anthony.

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