LOOKING BACK AT IT...

Realizing now more than ever I'm in love with my past,
Unable to see the future when you looking back,
But yet and still I have to, I mean look at that.
Those good times with good friends and good girls that I turned bad,
If only I could turn back, but do I mean time or do I mean forward,
Hard to walk it straight with nothing to move toward...
And you're always off course cause of course you run back in time,
It happens like every time, repeating the same mistakes,
In love with the heart break, I guess pain really is pleasure huh,
You write better broken down, as if every word picks you up.
We stay up all night, we drink too fast,
We do thee most, hoping we don't crash,
This is my life, these are the highlights,
These are the dark days, that follow the bright nights,
This feels quite nice, this feels quite right,
Looking at old tattoos I used to kiss all night.
Familiarity is a dangerous comfort,
Hurts my soul to see how poorly life has done her,
But yet still proud as she marches on,
As Drake said, life is always on.
And she called me the other night and I could hear the tears,
It's a painful moment knowing I can't protect you from your fears,
And I probably shouldn't comfort you,
Being as I only feel needed when life makes you uncomfortable.
But I'm too used to being too good to you,
I keep being the old me dealing with the newer you.
So we never on the same timeline,
Like two different souls side by side but never intertwined.
This is something like love but the truest form,
The passion isn't exactly fire but at least it's warm.
Chilling with my ex as my other ex calls,
All while getting notifications from the other ex
That she liked whatever it is I just put on my wall.
And still dumb enough to pretend I don't know why I'll never fall.
Outsiders probably think that I never love enough,
But I think I don't love because I loved too much.
But one thing for certain can't blame the past forever,
Can't keep riding this fast lane for forever,
Not if you want the family and forever,
They say happily ever after but I say happy after ever,
Like after every thing you've been through and all the pain you caused,
Could you still walk down the aisle to the sounds of applause.
Is there anything to gain after everything you've lost.
Does love have any value after everything it's cost.
Making new memories with old loves
And telling old stories to new friends,
This is how it ends and yet how it begins,
This is how you lose and yet it's how you win.
This is righteous, and yet it's still a sin.
But you still getting naked as you drunkenly grab at it,
And she still has the same smile as she turns and looks back at it.