INNOCENT THOUGHTS OF A GUILTY MAN

She deserves to be happy, She deserves to be loved, And as much as I know it hurts me, He can do all the above... I was too busy chasing dreams, I was too busy running the streets, I never had enough time to give you, I was investing it all in me. She deserves happily ever after, She deserves the white picket fence, He promised to give you it all, He placed the ring on your hand. I was too busy in the bars, I was too busy in the clubs, Kissing all the girls I didn't like, Instead of the one that I loved, She deserves a family, She deserves a future, He rescued her from her past, And I knew I would lose her, And I hope when you say I do, That you never think of me, And I hope when you say I do, That it's everything you need. Don't look back, don't look back, Girl, don't you worry about me. You will never die in my heart, You'll be living in my dreams. That's why I rush straight through the day, Just so that I can fall asleep.

I had read an article explaining that in life, you only get three true loves, and that each love was for a specific reason. It made me wonder, just how many loves I had really had. Oddly enough, it was three. The first love, like many, was my high school sweetheart. "She's the type of girl a guy meets when he's too young and has too much living to do", to quote a favorite TV show of mine. Ironically this love is called our first love, pure and innocent. Ironically, it is also the first girl I probably really ever ruined. Not to say I made her a bad person, but I most definitely shattered her illusions of love and or tainted the very purity of what a first love symbolizes. Our love was easy to manage when our world was small, confined to the hallways of our sacred high school and kept safe from the outside evils that would influence change. Sadly, those walls can't protect you forever, and as we grew, so did the circle in which we resided, and slowly but surely,

He sat on the train questioning what he was doing, as if he really didn't know. He was making that all too familiar mistake again, his favorite mistake. He was on his way to see her. It had been some time since he’d last seen her, and the last encounter had not gone the way he had hoped. The irony of the Drake lyrics being hummed in his ear, "redemption's on your mind when you think about me", were all too haunting. True she was his favorite mistake, but perhaps, just perhaps, he was hers. A mistake they both would continually make until they got it right or finally gave up. He got off the train to the breezy chill of a spring afternoon by the beach. The air was filled with the voices of friends and family and lovers walking around. People smiling and laughing as if this one day, everyone got to be happy and perhaps he would too. He made his way through the crowds of people growing more nervous with every step closer towards their meeting point. "Be cool",

He was done being a player, said he ready to retire, Plus he met bad chick, she was everything he desired. So he cut off all the other women, dedicated all his time. Spitting game in her ear, she was feeling all his rhymes, Getting all his time, he was spending every dime, He would stop whatever he was doing if she ever rang his line. But that don't even make sense, this is what his boys said, Because she a man-eater, and she'll leave you heart dead. But little did he care, he was caught up in her web, Becoming petrified every time she gave him head, And her sex in the bed, only made him fall worse. Witchcraft in her eyes yeah she hit him with a curse. Talking bout', Do you love me? She whispers in his ear. Her thighs straddled around him he ain't going nowhere. Mr. Do Right and can you blame him I mean he trying? Loving so good and it can't help but him leave him blind. And so in love, happy with the choice that he made, He plain forgot all

She keep on blowing up my phone, She probably think that I ain't home, She yelling   where the fuck you been? I yell out what fuck you want? See you ain't call me in a while, And you barely ever speak. I been out here on my grind, You probably grinding on them freaks See, miss me with that shit. You probably don't even miss me, shit If you looking for a compliment, That's exactly what you won't get. Cause I told you from the start, I'm gonna be just who I am, I'm trying to squeeze that ass, I'm not trying to hold your hand. You always trying for romance, Yeah you always on your scheme, But you not dealing with reality, You too caught up in your dream. Oh that's how you wanna play? Oh that's what you got to say? So now you don't care at all, But when we be fucking in them sheets You be staring in my eyes, As I rock that ass to sleep You say   "this pussy got me weak" And that I

Let's pack another suitcase, let's take another trip, You know we get it popping in any city pick. But we heading to Louisiana, where them country girls are thick. But we both some city slickers, they ain't ready for that sh*t. And it's Mardi Gras, we came to here party y'all, Please keep the shots coming cause we here to do it all. And you know how it goes when you light skin and you wavy, And she staring at you thinking about the pretty babies, Making plans for the future, but we making plans too. But our plans end in the morning when the next day comes through, See I'll treat you like a princess baby you are my Cinderella, But when the clock strikes, We both return to the prior status before we met up, But there no tears only thank you's and keep in touch, Because when you're both about the evening, The morning's don't mean that much. Sitting at dinner tables on outdoor patios while it's breezy, Good food, conversation