Token Black Guy

Coming up as a kid I lived in 3 places that forever shaped the man I am today. Lake Mary, Florida, Raleigh, North Carolina, and Daytona Beach, Florida. Through middle and high school I lived in the suburbs and went to predominately Caucasian populated schools.Most of my friends were white or some other race than black. Never even thought much about it honestly....not until I went to college....a historically black college that is...and I have to say...after coming from the burbs', and then spending four years surrounded by black people. Having white friends is wayyyyyyy better lol. WAIT WAIT...before you riot black people, let me explain why.

# 1: Special Treatment - Whenever I go to white people's party they always treat me so damn nice. I mean as soon as I walk in they give me a hug, ask me if I want a beer....they don't show me where to get it...the GO AND GET IT FOR ME...they ask me how my day was, how's work. Black parties they don't ask you shit. They don't give f*ck how your day was, all they wanna know is if you brought something.

#2: So you think you can dance - Being the only black guy at a white club is freaking spectacular. I feel like Michael Jackson. These white girls would believe I'm related to Chris Brown the way I glide on the floor. Most importantly, I can dance as freely as I want. Black clubs, too much peer pressure to be cool. N*ggas always coming up with a new dance ever 45 f*cking minutes. Ain't nobody got time for that. I don't wanna shake it like a red nose, what the f*ck is shake it like a red nose. If I wanna do the robot in a white club nobody laughs, they just clap and start doing that sh*t too.

#3: Gangster: I'm barely 5'8", light skin, and bald....I don't scare a damn person hanging out with black people. But when I'm in a white setting, I know there's at least 3 or 4 white folk who think I'm a hard core bad ass motha f*cka straight out of compton and not Tulsa, Oklahoma.....and that's a great feeling. Sometimes I just flinch at someone, just to check how gangster I should feel.

#4: When white people say they are going to pick you up at 7:30pm....they pick you up at 7:30pm. You see where I'm going with this one.

#5: And finally, a lot of white still feel bad about slavery, and having a black friend helps them feel better...and that means I'm a good person, and I like that. It also compels them to give me free sh*t.

And that's not even all the advantages, there ton's more. Like being less likely to get in a fight that night or shot, knowing there's not dope in the car  if you get pulled over, all kinds of stuff. Go ahead you bastards, judge me if you must. And if you wanna fight about it, you can find me in Santa Monica with my friends, and if you touch me....THEY'LL SUE YOUR ASS.



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