BEING 30

                I recently turned 30 years old and have to admit. Some things have definitely changed that provide me with concrete evidence, I’m getting old. I mean, I don’t think 30 is “OLD”, but I could agree that is not exactly young.  But there’s certain things that are really noticeable that have changed in me.  For example. My buddies and I were bored on a Sunday evening after leaving a bar, we didn’t really know what to do next, but we weren’t ready to call it a night. “Let’s go to the strip club”, my friend suggested. Now I am not big on strip clubs. I just don’t get too excited about naked girls you can’t touch. But I went anyway.

                As we were seated by the hostess the place was scattered with what could only be described as scummy old dudes and some other sad people. We took a booth and ordered a bottle of champagne. Why? Hell if I know, one bottle with four people is like one glass a person. A perfectly idiotic waste of money if you ask me. Being that we were the younger more handsome set of guys in the place, we instantly drew some attention as two strippers came over and sat down at our table. Now the conversation we had was actually pretty normal, but it was the fact they were so comfortable damn near naked that made me scratch me head.

                When we asked how old they were and they said “18”, that’s when I really started feeling old. Like holy shit, I’m more than a decade older than you. Is it wrong that I didn’t even think about what the hell an eighteen year old girl was doing stripping…but it was more like I have sisters older than you, I probably shouldn’t be here.  Anywho, I tried my best to behave and not take advantage of these young chicks. Which is another complete sign I’m getting old. Cause the young me would have definitely been trying to smash something. So I just sat politely on my phone checking stats as this girl popped her ass right next to me. All these bad chicks around me, music going, and I am on my phone and yawning every ten minutes.

                Now, I love playing basketball. It’s one of my favorite activities. I remember I could play all day, then go out to the club that night and dance all night. Now if I go play basketball, that’s pretty much cancels me doing anything else that day besides sitting in my bed moaning about how sore I am. The other weekend I was on the court for 3 hours. I only played for about 2 hours, the other hour was how long it took me to take my shoes, put back on my sweats, and walk out the gym. I literally sat there for about 30 minutes just trying to get the energy to get up. I’m honestly considering giving it all up.

                Lastly, I was out for New Year’s Eve partying it up and there were a lot of girls dressed provocatively. Normally a great sign for a single guy like me. But all I could think is…”how the hell am I supposed to find a girlfriend around here”? It was then I knew I was too old. Time to retire the player card and get out the game. When you start talking like that, you know you’re an old man in a young man’s game.  As I stumbled into the house drunk, I had only one clear New Year’s resolution. I’m done, lol.

                Maybe that’s why they call it “settling down”? Because you are too damn old and too damn tired to be running around chasing tail. Domesticate. Find somebody you can stand to be around for more than a few hours and do that. I feel like Kobe Bryant trying to fight the clock on what’s been a great career. I mean hey, I put up some damn good numbers, seen all types of crazy things that I won’t dare mention. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. It’s about time to move on. I could keep on writing about it, but it’s a quarter to nine and I’m tired. Almost my bed time. Yeah, that’s right. Because I’m getting old.